So, yeah, I feel like an idiot

Didn't pass my permit test. Not like I really want to drive anyway. But still. It hurts. After months and months of my dad saying to me, "A trained monkey could pass that test!" it hurt to have to go out of the little room and tell him I failed. I'm so beat up about this. Stupid signs. I know what they mean; I'm not an idiot. I just don't know the exact terms and phrases they want me to use, and they didn't tell me in the manual. Like "Wrong Way" signs (I'm pretty sure I got that one right, though) - it asks me what it means, and the answers are "You're going the wrong way on a one-way street and you need to stop" or "You're going the wrong way on a one-way street and you need to turn off at the next intersection." I just looked through the manual again; it says nothing about what you need to do when you're going the wrong way. I guess they figure you're smart enough to know what you have to do.I've cried, like, three times about it. Pathetic, no? I know my dad's cringing about my failure, even if he would never admit it. And my sister, what a loving girl she is. I tell her I failed (I have no idea why; I knew she'd just be ugly) and I tell her I feel like an idiot, and the only thing she says to me is, "You should!" God. I'm so, so angry and sad and hurt. It's not a good day today. This has about pushed me over the edge. I'm about to slice myself to pieces, but I can't because it's so damn hard to hide in the summer and I'm about to go to New York with three of my best friends. I can't have them find out. Ugh. Bad day.