So very confused.

I do not even know were to begin with this one............. Wife and I are going through a divorce, I am PERFECTLY happy with that, I wanted out for awhile.The night she told me she wanted to split, she also told me one of her Friends from work told her how much he liked her....and yada yada. So they started seeing eachother, pretty much the next day. How am i supposed to feel about that? We'll ill tell you how I do feel, Very fucking pissed off. I am sure the Bipolar isnt helping...but i cannot control my moods at all. I wake up in a good place, she tells me shes going out, and I know who with. And i fucking lose it. Like to the point of making myself sick with anger. I am really starting to hate my wife, i am resenting her, i want her to feel this pain too,....and i know its not right. But why did she have to do this now...of all times now. Worst period of my life, I felt like i was losing my mind before she told me she wanted to split and she was starting to see someone eles. Awesome.  I do not really think she understands it from my side. I really really dont. I mean I havent been the best husband in the world, Thats for sure. But this is killing me inside, big time....I've never been so depressed in my life, for the first time in my life...I feel broken, weak....and wanting to kill myself, which makes me feel even MORE weak for letting someone...esspecially her right now, do this to me. I have no idea how I will feel in 15 mins, I may want to lose it, i may be happy...fuck. fuck. fuck.