So Tired of the lies...

So today hit marks 2 weeks since my husband has walked out after 12 1/2 years of marriage. I can say that these two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions for me. I've had days where I have cried non stop, days where I feel like I am just going through the motions of life, and honestly there were a few days when my kids were gone and I was alone that I felt like jut giving up and swallow a bottle of sleeping pills. Thank God I did not do that, my 2 kids deserve better than that and my ex is not worth my life. But the last few days I have just been plain pissed off about this whole situation. 

So back in September after getting off work I learned that my ex had left the kids at home all night while he went out doing God knows what. Anyway long story short I got a call from the county sheriffs office saying my husband had been arrested for dui (he blew twice the legal limit), not knowing until after I bailed him out that he was arrested with an 18 year old girl. I tried to forgive him and work it out for the kids. But 2 weeks ago I got a phone call from him saying he wants a divorce because he needed to work on himself. 

Nedless to say I was devistated, I tried so hard to work things out. I offered to go to counseling anything. But everything I tried was shut down. Things didnt really make sense on how there was absolutely no emotions what so ever over this. But last night I found text messages between him and the 18 yo girl. He was telling her how much he loves her and was just being nice to me so I would not rape him on child support and limit visitations with the kids. I was sadly trying to be nice and let him pay half of the amount until he cound get on his feet and get court costs and fines paid off. 

I'm so pissed that not only did he lie about why he left, he lied about continuing to see the girl. I feel like he was using me for the money. Also I took the money out of savings to may his lawyer for the dui and the next day he left. I feel so used. 

I really don't know how I should deal with this situation. Where do I go from here?