So Sorry! Update!

Well, to start out....I am sorry it's been so long since I posted last. A lot has happened since the last post. (Obviously)
Ashleigh's journey through foster care has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. My relationship with her, all of the family's relationships with her have been better. From time to time when I drop her back off from a weekend pass, I cry. It still hurts, just not as bad as it was before. I took a Family to Family course through NAMI in my area. That was from February to April of this year. It was an amazing experience. It was so nice to sit down with other people who understand the pain and heartache associated with mental illness, at least from from the point of view of a family member. Not just for myself. I do have to say it was hard for me not to broach the topics of myself. Not because I didn't care or what have you, but because my own mental illness struggles interfere with who I am and how I parent. 
The president of the NAMI group I was in was one of the facilitators. She saw something in me that I hadn't. Strength. Since then, I have been invited to two businesses to communicate my mental illness background and struggles. I have always wanted to help people. And this was a good opportunity. After all, if I can blog the crap out of my feelings, I could tell it. Hot damn, I was so nervous! I think my presentations went well. Maybe I will participate again. Who knows.  
So, all in all okay, just incredibly stressed at the moment. Somehow, I will make it.