so sad

the feeling of missing my kids is horrible. 

i am so depressed all the time. 

i also feel like even if i go back home , after literially starting life over again... i may feel the same

my parents split when i was young, left me alone.. i feel that all the time, i dont want cast this upon my kids. 

i feel i have no one

i have a girlfriend, she is sweet, but i yell at her all the time cause of my pain, she is gonna leave me i know it, suprised she has not already, i am a real peice of horrible work. Im mean and angy and suicidal a lot. why would anyone love me ever. Im not worth it. 

i feel like i am a horrible person, i yell a lot, i have a temper, i have no friends, i often sleep in the hard floor because its what i feel i deserve, i also punch myself, i have so many bruises.. i feel so utterly alone and unloved. Im out of tears, and out of hope.