So p***ed I could scream!
This entry is going to be an angry rant with a bunch of F bombs. If you're in a good mood and don't want it potentially ruined, skip this entry.
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Don't say I didn't warn you....
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I'm going to say this outright: My RE is a fucking jackass! First off my appointment with him was at 2:15, I sat in the room waiting for him to come in for 45 fucking minutes! 45!! The woman he was talking with before coming to see me was out in the hall singing him fucking praises. "You're so great! No one else has taken the time to explain things to me. You explained it so thoroughly and have been so great..." PUKE! She's not overweight like I am, so OF COURSE she gets the good treatment.
Second, when I DID see him, it was for 5 minutes! The entire time he went on about my weight! I get that I'm fucking fat. OK? I get that. I get that I need to lose weight. I'm fucking working on it! Even went to the fucking gym this morning to do a spin class AND upper body work out on the weight machines.
Then he decided to drop the mother of all piss offs on me. "Have you considered having lap band surgery?"
Yup. 3 whole minutes were spent telling me that I'm so fat I'm not likely to lose the weight on my own and he highly recommends that I get the surgery. And that it's very unlikely that the diet changes and exercise changes I'm making will work. Are you fucking kidding me? When the fuck did you become an expert on obesity and whether or not exercise and diet changes alone will work?
Third, he refused to listen to me about the shooting pains in my lower right abdomen. He acknowledged quickly that I had them to try to shut me up, and then ignore it. He went right back to his fucking spiel about me being too heavy because I went up 8 pounds from the last time I was there. 8 fucking pounds. I gained that fucking weight because I've been on the fucking Letrozole for 5 fucking months, thank you very fucking much! He also made a point of telling me that the OBs he'd pass me off to would be 'mad' at him for assisting me to get pregnant at my size because of all the 'congenital defects' and other medical issues that the baby could have, not to mention the issues I could have. Thanks for putting another nail in the coffin of my dreams, jackass!
Fourth, although he sent me for another blood pregnancy test, he decided that the ONLY course of action right now is for me to go on Provera for 10 days to bring on a cycle and then go up to 10mg of Letrozole (from 7.5). Yup, not even THINKING about IUI at this point. Nope. Not an option.
According to him, my only option right now is to get the lap band surgery. He's so adamant about it that he's going to 'discuss' it with my fucking GP! My GP was just encouraging me to continue working out and changing my diet, now he's going to be told by my RE that he should be discussing lap band surgery with me despite me saying "NO! That is NOT one of the options I wish to pursue!"
It's now 5pm and I'm STILL seething from this jackass. What a fucking waste of my time to go see this jackass!
My mother is trying to push for me to seek a new RE in Ottawa. I keep telling her I have no way to get there. Her response? "I'm now down to working part time, WE will drive you". That's great Ma, but when am I going to get the time to go there? I'd have to book an appointment for a Monday, drive 2 hours to see the RE for all of 30 minutes at most and then drive 2 hours home again. Then go to school for the rest of the week and hope the labs here will be sufficient for the RE in Ottawa, and that they'll actually send the paperwork/results along to him/her.
At this point I want to say fuck it all and move back to Ottawa. I'm going to have to seriously reconsider whether or not I'm going to continue to see my RE moving forward or if I want to put things on hold yet again until I can get some of this weight off and be able to afford to travel to see a new RE. Why can't things be simple and a new, good RE move to town and put this jackass out of business?
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.......
.....
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Don't say I didn't warn you....
...
.....
.......
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I'm going to say this outright: My RE is a fucking jackass! First off my appointment with him was at 2:15, I sat in the room waiting for him to come in for 45 fucking minutes! 45!! The woman he was talking with before coming to see me was out in the hall singing him fucking praises. "You're so great! No one else has taken the time to explain things to me. You explained it so thoroughly and have been so great..." PUKE! She's not overweight like I am, so OF COURSE she gets the good treatment.
Second, when I DID see him, it was for 5 minutes! The entire time he went on about my weight! I get that I'm fucking fat. OK? I get that. I get that I need to lose weight. I'm fucking working on it! Even went to the fucking gym this morning to do a spin class AND upper body work out on the weight machines.
Then he decided to drop the mother of all piss offs on me. "Have you considered having lap band surgery?"
Yup. 3 whole minutes were spent telling me that I'm so fat I'm not likely to lose the weight on my own and he highly recommends that I get the surgery. And that it's very unlikely that the diet changes and exercise changes I'm making will work. Are you fucking kidding me? When the fuck did you become an expert on obesity and whether or not exercise and diet changes alone will work?
Third, he refused to listen to me about the shooting pains in my lower right abdomen. He acknowledged quickly that I had them to try to shut me up, and then ignore it. He went right back to his fucking spiel about me being too heavy because I went up 8 pounds from the last time I was there. 8 fucking pounds. I gained that fucking weight because I've been on the fucking Letrozole for 5 fucking months, thank you very fucking much! He also made a point of telling me that the OBs he'd pass me off to would be 'mad' at him for assisting me to get pregnant at my size because of all the 'congenital defects' and other medical issues that the baby could have, not to mention the issues I could have. Thanks for putting another nail in the coffin of my dreams, jackass!
Fourth, although he sent me for another blood pregnancy test, he decided that the ONLY course of action right now is for me to go on Provera for 10 days to bring on a cycle and then go up to 10mg of Letrozole (from 7.5). Yup, not even THINKING about IUI at this point. Nope. Not an option.
According to him, my only option right now is to get the lap band surgery. He's so adamant about it that he's going to 'discuss' it with my fucking GP! My GP was just encouraging me to continue working out and changing my diet, now he's going to be told by my RE that he should be discussing lap band surgery with me despite me saying "NO! That is NOT one of the options I wish to pursue!"
It's now 5pm and I'm STILL seething from this jackass. What a fucking waste of my time to go see this jackass!
My mother is trying to push for me to seek a new RE in Ottawa. I keep telling her I have no way to get there. Her response? "I'm now down to working part time, WE will drive you". That's great Ma, but when am I going to get the time to go there? I'd have to book an appointment for a Monday, drive 2 hours to see the RE for all of 30 minutes at most and then drive 2 hours home again. Then go to school for the rest of the week and hope the labs here will be sufficient for the RE in Ottawa, and that they'll actually send the paperwork/results along to him/her.
At this point I want to say fuck it all and move back to Ottawa. I'm going to have to seriously reconsider whether or not I'm going to continue to see my RE moving forward or if I want to put things on hold yet again until I can get some of this weight off and be able to afford to travel to see a new RE. Why can't things be simple and a new, good RE move to town and put this jackass out of business?
Replies
IF it\'s any consolation my current (and hopefully last) RE is 2 1/2hrs away from me! And wow your RE is a super dick! I cant believe that he would say that exercise and eating changes dont work, um right, that is the only things that do! So sorry you are being discriminated because of weight, such bullshit! I am doing all I can to lose weight before I do my first IVF early next year, so I know your pain and if you need any help let me know! Stay strong love, hopefully our society moves beyond its obsession with the perfect weight and stops judging a persons significance based on said bullshit numbers! See now you got me all fired up lol!! XO
I want to punch this asshole in the face. I would absolutely never see him again. Is the next closest RE 2 hours away or are there any other options? Obviously, we understand that a healthy weight is important, but that is nit the only factor to consider. Move on and find someone who will give you the professional respect and treatment you deserve.
What a jerk. He seriously needs a good, solid kick in the nads. Yes, weight does play a part, but it\'s not the only factor. Either way, the jerk shouldn\'t be telling you there is only 1 option for you. The fastest option would probably be surgery, but the best option, in my opinion anyway, is diet and exercise changes.
There are lots of programs to help with that. In fact, I started one in January and lost 50 lbs in 6 months. I would say keep doing what you are doing in that department. If you are interested, I can send you some information about the program I did. I LOVED it.
In any case, I think a new RE is in order. Distance can be tricky but I\'d rather travel further than be left feeling the way you are feeling right now.
I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I do not understand today\'s society with everyone wanting women to be as thin as a damn model. That is not the norm. I once had an endo that was the same, in fact she called me a pig and thought I was lazy. What she did not understand that due to the insulin resistance and PCOS I needed a boost. I ended up losing 120 lbs once I found the right doctor that suggested a healthy lifestyle but never, ever held my weight against me. She was and still is a wonderful doctor. Doctors need to realize that they work for us and while they are supposed to help promote a healthy lifestyle, they need to also be sensitive and empathetic to those that may need to lose some weight. The doctor you are currently seeing is an asshole and I would kick him hard if I could.
Wow, what an Ass. You did not deserve that kind of treatment. I would be furious as well. Are there no other options within driving distance?
Girlfriend. Oh my sadness. This is NOT okay. I am still utterly shocked that they are not actively trying to confirm a diagnosis of PCOS because you\'re a walking example of it. More importantly, it\'s not your RE\'s place to decide whether or not your weight is appropriate for pregnancy. That\'s discrimination and it\'s BULLSHIT. I honestly want to bitch slap this motherfucker. I am so angry for you. His job is to get you pregnant. Period.
I know that there are women on here who have phone consults with REs that are far away. Have you looked into this as an option?
Seriously, fuck this clown. I can\'t believe he suggested a lap band. You have been working hard and you should feel proud of yourself! I\'m certainly proud of you! Your attitude and outlook have improved tremendously from when you first jumped on here, and you\'ve been eating better and working out and losing body fat...keep doing what you\'re doing because even though the progress is slow, it\'s PROGRESS.
Be nice to yourself tonight. You deserve it. XOXOXO I am always here if you need to vent!!
Thanks ladies, you all are making me cry now (happy tears not sad). I\'m glad I\'m not the only one pissed off with the way my RE is treating me.
To answer some of your questions: My RE is literally the ONLY one in my city. I\'m 2 hours from both Toronto and Ottawa, so those are my only real options to find an RE (all the other places are smaller towns that don\'t have REs that I know of). I don\'t drive, so it\'s finding time and a ride or money to take the bus/train to and from that is the issue.
As for what I\'m doing to lose weight, I\'m still going to continue. Now though, I have more anger behind my \'drive\' to lose weight. I\'ll show this jackass that the lap band is NOT the only option!
And kDeezy: I have been nice to myself thus far. I took a nice hot bath and my hubby decided to make a fantastic dinner for us. I\'m going to relax for the rest of the night. I can work on homework tomorrow!
Oh and I will look into having a phone consult with someone. I really just need to find an RE who will sit down and discuss ALL of my test results and help me understand what is going on with my body. Of the 2 that I have seen thus far, neither have discussed them with me. I still don\'t know WTF is going on and why if I have 90% of the signs/symptoms of PCOS (despite having no visible cysts) that I\'m not being tested further for it.
Grr... so many things I could rant about right now, but I\'m going to go play a game instead!
What an absolute ASSHAT!!!!! Lap band is NOT your only option. Yes it takes more time/determination/resolve, etc to get it done through diet change/exercise - but for crying out loud, those are the healthiest ways to do it. Keep fighting the good fight, I know it\'s hard and discouraging, but you will eventually see results, they just take a while. I hope he gets hit by a bus.