so out of it!

So today I found out that my boss is trying to get someone trained to take over my spot.  The information came 4th hand but I believe it.  I have been out of it for about a year.  It's like I can't think and can't work and don't care.  I am sure its the medication.  I found out the generic they are giving me is on the FDA watch list for not living up to the original medications standards.  It definitely explained a lot about my weird actions.  Not to mention I told a coworker I was thinking of killing myself inside the work garage.  He definitely has a reason to let me go.  My husband is worried because I have so many bills and if I file bankruptcy he will get stuck with them.  I want so bad to go to a residential treatment center but our insurance does not cover them.  I deserve to be fired but I don't want my husband to suffer for my actions.  My son will also because we will have to move back to my husbands house and I will send him to school where his dad lives.  I was extremely depressed 2 weeks ago and was feeling great until I found out I wont have a job for long.  I have such a big mouth I wish I could keep it shut!!!!  Now my chest feels all floppy again.  I never did get my house clean or put back together after finishing the floor.  I am so overwhelmed!!!