so much pain

Here I am again...rambling to myself. I have had so many days of pain with no relief. My shoulders are getting worse and same with the rest of my body. So I am just the blob in the chair now. I get up and do what I can and I do get out so inactivity isn't causing the pain I think my body is just done. I am tired of this world also. I have no friends. On the computer nor IRL. I do have family but they love each other so I'm sure I am just an extra bubble they wouldn't notice if it was gone. I was doing crafting with my DIL but I think it was started out of pity as she has too many other things to do to continue to come over. I don't blame her. She has a baby in school and although I already call her my DIL she will be eloping with my son and she is getting those plans fixed. I've offered to help but have been turned down. So here I sit feeling like I could be in a place with no pain and everyone could just get on with their life. I'm so tired and I hurt so much it hurts to even breathe...so I just don't know why I bother