SO MANY SAD THINGS ARE HAPPENING TO ME!!!
I KNOW I HAVEN'T WRITTEN FOR A WHILE AGAIN, I JUST FIND IT VERY HARD TO FIND MY WORDS AND MY PAIN ALSO STOPS ME. BUT I WILL TRY.... AS MY TITLE SAYS I HAVE HAD MANY SAD, TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENING TO ME LATELY AND I AM ALREADY DEPRESSED FROM MY CONSTANT DAILY PAIN, HOW MUCH MORE CAN I TAKE??? WELL, TO START ONE OF MY TWO DAUGHTERS (CRYSTAL) IS HAVING ANOTHER MAD ON AT MOM GOING ON, WHY I DON'T REALLY KNOW??? ANYWAY, AS OF JUNE 28TH, JUST BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY OF JUNE 30TH, SHE DECIDED THAT SHE WAS MOVING TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CITY AND WOULD NOT BE LETTING MYSELF AND MY HUSBAND TERRY KNOWING WHERE SHE IS MOVING TO??? ALSO, THAT SHE WOULD BE CHANGING HER PH.# AND WE WERE NOT TO HAVE IT GIVEN TO US FROM ANYONE IN THE FAMILY!! BUT WITH THE DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY I HAVE WELL MOST ARE NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER ANYWAY, SHIT! WHAT A JOKE! ANYHOW, SHE ALSO DECIDED WE COULD NO LONGER SEE OUR PRECIOUS GRANDCHILDREN SAVANNAH NOW 8YRS. AND AUSTIN NOW 3YRS OLD. THIS IS SOOO HURTFUL TO US AND OF COURSE TO OUR GRANDCHILDREN THAT IT IS VERY UNBEARABLE AND CRUEL!!! I WISH SHE UNDERSTOOD THAT THE MAIN PERSON'S SHE IS HURTING IS HER OWN CHILDREN!! THEY LOVE GRAMMA AND GRAMPA!! IT IS JUST DOWN RIGHT CRUEL OF HER TO DO THIS UNTHINKABLE ACT OF SELFISHNESS!!! SHE WILL SEE IN TIME. SO, RIGHT THERE IS ONE LOSS IN MY LIFE THAT IS WITH SUCH PAIN IN MY HEART!!! THEN MOST OF YOU KNOW THAT MY STEP-DAD PASSED AWAY JUST LAST YEAR, AND MY SISTER ABOUT 3YRS. AGO NOW. ALSO A FEW OTHER AUNTS AND UNCLES AND COUSINS HAVE BEEN TAKEN FROM ME, I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING?? NOW, WE JUST GOT BACK FROM A VISIT TO MY BROTHER'S IN BEAUTIFUL CHILLIWACK, B.C.CANADA!! WE BARELY HAD THE MONEY TO GO BUT MY DEAR HUSBAND THAT WORKS SOOOO VERY, VERY HARD DESPERATELY NEEDED A LITTLE BREAK, AND MYSELF ALSO. WE WERE THERE LAST WEEK FROM THE 8TH OF AUGUST TO THE 12TH, WHICH IS ALSO OUR 15TH WEDDING ANNIVERSAY, ON AUGUST 12TH, ONE POSITIVE THING. WE, WERE ALL ENJOYING OURSELVES AT MY BROTHER'S IN B.C. AND ALL OF A SUDDEN WE DIDN'T SEE OUR LITTLE TOY YORKIE TERRIER AROUND ANYWHERE!!! WE LOOKED FOR OVER AN HOUR AND A HALF!! WE ASKED NEIGHBORS, PEOPLE WALKING AROUND, UP AND DOWN STREETS ETC.!!!! THEN MY BROTHER AND TERRY MY HUSBAND WENT DRIVING AROUND TO LOOK FOR HER, ONLY TO FIND HER RAN OVER BY A CAR, SHE HAD BEEN HIT BY A CAR AND LEFT DEAD!! SHE HAD BEEN TAKEN OFF THE STREET AND LAID ON THE BRIGHT GREEN GRASS, WITH HER DEEP RED BLOOD ALL AROUND HER!! WE WERE IN SHOCK!! MY HUSBAND AND I BROKE DOWN AND CRIED LIKE BABIES, WE LOVED HER VERY, VERY MUCH AND WE HAD HAD HER FOR OVER 8YRS!! SHE WAS OUR FAMILY, SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND IN THE DAYTIME ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS ALL ALONE IN MY HOUSE EACH AND EVERY DAY AS I COULDN'T GET OUT BECAUSE OF MY SEVERE FM PAIN AND CHRONIC FATIGUE!! OH, GOD HOW I MISS HER!! I KEEP THINKING THAT SHE IS GOING TO COME AROUND THE CORNER IN THE HOUSE BOUNCING AROUND AND WANTING TO GO FOR A WALK, OR HAVE A TREAT, OR DO SOME FUNNY THINGS THAT MADE ME LAUGH ALOT!! I HAVE NEVER LOST A PET IN MY LIFE AND BOY DOES IT HURT, MY HEART IS BROKEN, AND YES I AM MORE DEPRESSED!! I GUESS TIME WILL HEAL AS IT HAS A BIT FOR MY LOSS OF MY SISTER AND MY STEP-DAD AND ALL THE OTHERS, BUT DAMN IT WHY?? WHY?? ALL OF THIS HURT AND PAIN EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL??? WHY ME, US??? THEN I HAVE ANOTHER LOSS COMING UP IN MY LIFE, MY DEAR DOCTOR WHO HAS TAKEN SUCH GENTLE CARE OF ME, AND SUCH EMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING FOR MY FIBROMYALGIA AND CHRONIC FATIGUE, WELL HE IS NOW TAKEN AWAY FROM ME ALSO!! HE DID NOT DIE!! HE RECENTLY JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE COLLEGE OF PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS WILL NOT LET HIM PRESCRIBE ANY MORE PAIN MEDS OF ANY SORT TO ANY OF HIS 150 CHRONIC PAIN PATIENTS!!! HE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG EXCEPT LISTENED SO CLEARLY TO US EXPLAIN OUR DEVASTATING PAIN STORIES AND HE IS RUNNING THE CHRONIC PAIN GROUP AND HIS TIME HE HAS SPENT IN THE HOSPITAL TO RUN A PAIN CLINIC FROM THERE ALSO!! HE NOW AT THE END OF AUGUST, STARTING SEPT.1ST HE NO LONGER CAN HELP ANY OF HIS PAIN PATIENTS!! HOW CRUEL IS THIS??? WHAT A TERRIBLE WAY TO TREAT A SUCH UNDERSTANDING AND EMPATHETIC DR. WELL RESPECTED IN OUR COMMUNITY!! HE IS VERY SAD ABOUT IT AND SO IS ALL OF HIS PATIENTS AS WE SCRAMBLE TO FIND ANOTHER DR. TO CARE FOR US!!! AND THEY ARE ALL TO FAR AND FEW BETWEEN!! HE FINALLY HAS FOUND SOME OTHER DR. FOR MYSELF, BUT I HEARD THAT HE DOESN'T LIKE TO PRESCRIBE PAIN MEDS OF ANY KIND!! OH, GOD WHAT AM I TO DO NOW?? SO THIS IS WHY I FEEL I AM LOOSING EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE, SO OFTEN, AND WITH SUCH PAIN AND SORROW I CARRY EVERYDAY!! I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT NEXT?? I FEEL BEATEN, AND SOOOO VERY, VERY SAD!!! WOULD ANY OF YOU PRAY FOR ME??? PLEASE??? GOD BLESS YOU ALL!! BYE FOR NOW SAD SUE THANKYOU.......
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