So many numbers, so few explanations
Sorry in advance. This is a bunch of scattered thoughts that I am trying to sort through...rather unsuccessfully it would seem. If you can get through it and not think I'm a lunatic...you're doing better than me. :)
My clinic has this kind of cool feature where they set up a personal webpage for each couple with your own login information. They have you fill out your medical history on it, put your procedure plans on it, test results, etc. It's basically a place you can coordinate everything. At first I thought it was a pretty cool idea. Now I'm starting to see the downside. They posted my AMH blood test results on there yesterday. So now I know my numbers. But I have no idea what they mean. My AMH was 3.99, which one website said was high and typical of PCOS and another said was normal. There is also FSH, Inhibin B, ERS, E2....so confusing. So I guess I'll wait for the other test results then schedule a consultation with the Dr to get an explanation.
In the meantime, we are gathering things for our appeal to the insurance. My OB wrote a letter saying my husband's sperm are excellent and the issue is with me. I also picked up a copy of his SA. I hadn't seen the numbers before, just my Dr telling me the results were excellent. So I compared the numbers with what I could find online for normal results. And now I see why my Dr said she had to call the lab to double check that they were correct. A normal count is 20 million per mL...his was 254 million. It seems a little fishy to me, like that can't possibly be right. Plus his motility was 80% (normal is above 50%) and 72% normal sperm (60% is considered fertile). So I'm thinking this definitely helps with our appeal. However, in reality, I'm kind of baffled. I wonder what another SA would say.
Plus, if his sperm are so amazing...what's the deal? So obviously something is wrong with me. I just want someone to figure out what is wrong and tell me. I'm tired of being treated like I'm just being impatient. I'm tired of doing all of these tests and no one telling me anything helpful. I realize that our RE recommends doing an IUI with injections and if we can't afford it then there's not much else for him to do. But I don't just want to keep doing the 'well, let's try this' approach. I want to know what the root problem is. I want a diagnosis. I feel like that's the only way to really be smart about handling it.
Oh, and DH's truck....costing way more to fix than we thought. IUI money....slowly trickling away. If the insurance still says no, then I think we're done. DH feels so bad and he's stressing himself out over it. I love him for worrying about it but it's not his fault. I don't want him to feel guilty about it.
I'm a spiritual person and I've always heard that when you are doing what's right, life is hard because that's when Satan throws everything he's got at you. I'm trying to have faith that things will work out...but I'm feeling seriously beaten lately. If I was still working then money wouldn't be an issue. But I felt very strongly that quitting and focusing on home, family, and stepkids was the right decision. RE recommended an IUI and insurance wouldn't pay and I thought it's ok because I have 2 more paychecks coming, we can use those. Then the truck breaks, dishwasher breaks, lawn mower breaks. It's like...I trusted and now I'm screwed. I guess now is the time to see if I can hold to my faith or if I'll break. They say the rewards come after the trial of your faith, right? So I guess I'll just dig my claws in and keep holding on for dear life. The thing that's exhausting is that after getting the money sorted, we still get the stress and possible failure of treatments.
Some days I wish I drank. I could use a bottle or two.
My clinic has this kind of cool feature where they set up a personal webpage for each couple with your own login information. They have you fill out your medical history on it, put your procedure plans on it, test results, etc. It's basically a place you can coordinate everything. At first I thought it was a pretty cool idea. Now I'm starting to see the downside. They posted my AMH blood test results on there yesterday. So now I know my numbers. But I have no idea what they mean. My AMH was 3.99, which one website said was high and typical of PCOS and another said was normal. There is also FSH, Inhibin B, ERS, E2....so confusing. So I guess I'll wait for the other test results then schedule a consultation with the Dr to get an explanation.
In the meantime, we are gathering things for our appeal to the insurance. My OB wrote a letter saying my husband's sperm are excellent and the issue is with me. I also picked up a copy of his SA. I hadn't seen the numbers before, just my Dr telling me the results were excellent. So I compared the numbers with what I could find online for normal results. And now I see why my Dr said she had to call the lab to double check that they were correct. A normal count is 20 million per mL...his was 254 million. It seems a little fishy to me, like that can't possibly be right. Plus his motility was 80% (normal is above 50%) and 72% normal sperm (60% is considered fertile). So I'm thinking this definitely helps with our appeal. However, in reality, I'm kind of baffled. I wonder what another SA would say.
Plus, if his sperm are so amazing...what's the deal? So obviously something is wrong with me. I just want someone to figure out what is wrong and tell me. I'm tired of being treated like I'm just being impatient. I'm tired of doing all of these tests and no one telling me anything helpful. I realize that our RE recommends doing an IUI with injections and if we can't afford it then there's not much else for him to do. But I don't just want to keep doing the 'well, let's try this' approach. I want to know what the root problem is. I want a diagnosis. I feel like that's the only way to really be smart about handling it.
Oh, and DH's truck....costing way more to fix than we thought. IUI money....slowly trickling away. If the insurance still says no, then I think we're done. DH feels so bad and he's stressing himself out over it. I love him for worrying about it but it's not his fault. I don't want him to feel guilty about it.
I'm a spiritual person and I've always heard that when you are doing what's right, life is hard because that's when Satan throws everything he's got at you. I'm trying to have faith that things will work out...but I'm feeling seriously beaten lately. If I was still working then money wouldn't be an issue. But I felt very strongly that quitting and focusing on home, family, and stepkids was the right decision. RE recommended an IUI and insurance wouldn't pay and I thought it's ok because I have 2 more paychecks coming, we can use those. Then the truck breaks, dishwasher breaks, lawn mower breaks. It's like...I trusted and now I'm screwed. I guess now is the time to see if I can hold to my faith or if I'll break. They say the rewards come after the trial of your faith, right? So I guess I'll just dig my claws in and keep holding on for dear life. The thing that's exhausting is that after getting the money sorted, we still get the stress and possible failure of treatments.
Some days I wish I drank. I could use a bottle or two.
Replies
Hey, don\'t think your DHs count is a fluke. My DHs counts are always over 200mil. Our first RE told him he should frame his results, LOL. So your DHs numbers seem normal to me. One thing they can do is a DNA fragmentation test to see if that\'s an issue with his swimmers, but I doubt it is an issue with that many good looking sperm! So would not be worth the $500.
I hear you about wanting a diagnosis! You feel like you can have a real plan of treatment then. We had unexplained IF for over a year of treatments with our old RE. I would say wait until all your blood work results come back and consult with your RE and see what he says. If he still does not have a diagnosis for you, then it may be worth having a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy done. None of my tests showed any issues at all with me, and then I had surgery and had all sorts of diagnoses. But the good thing is with a lap is that if they find an issue, most of the time they can fix it right then.
Sorry about the truck and everything else needing to be fixed at the same time, and having to watch your IUI money slip away. Hopefully your insurance comes through!
We have a similar set up with our healthcare, all lab results are given to you through a personal web page and its often left me with lots of questions. Fortunately our dr\'s are only an email away so I can always drop them a note to get clarification. Do you have that as an option?
I agree, it is so frustrating to be lumped into the Unexplained IF category! I feel that if I could just get a clear answer and diagnoses that at least it will put my mind at ease. Instead I sit here going \"WTF? Why is my body not working?!?!?!\"
Fingers crossed that your insurance comes through!!!