So Lonely
Nine months and the loneliness at times is overwhelming. I miss you so much. Not having you to talk with, to share my emotions, to share our thoughts together is so painful.
The kids all have their own lives and that is the way it should be. They are there if I need the (the boys who live close). They don't understand how lonely it is and I don't want to burden them with it.
I went to Boise to spend 4 days with Mark and his family last week. Seeing Mark and the grand girls was so heart warming. The girls are growing so. They are good girls. Our daughter-in-law is still the same honey. She keeps pretty much to herself.
Trish and I are leaving for CA this Tuesday. We will stay at her daughters a day and then go on to Long Beach for the conference. On our way back we will stay at Heathers for a couple days as well.
I am feeling pretty low tonight honey. I feel as though there was so much that was incomplete about our life together. The last 8 years of it was hard for us. There were many family challenges to get through. It did take away from our time together. I can hear you right now saying . . . "we are together and that is all that matters" . . . that is so true, but we aren't now and I miss and need you so much.
I am OK most of the time honey. I keep busy. It helps.
I looked at the clouds today, they were my kind of clouds. I thought about what you would have said about the sky today. . . you would have said, "this my wife's kind of sky." I saw your spirit floating by. I saw your gentleness being there for anyone and everyone who needed it.
I love you so much.
Lindanne
The kids all have their own lives and that is the way it should be. They are there if I need the (the boys who live close). They don't understand how lonely it is and I don't want to burden them with it.
I went to Boise to spend 4 days with Mark and his family last week. Seeing Mark and the grand girls was so heart warming. The girls are growing so. They are good girls. Our daughter-in-law is still the same honey. She keeps pretty much to herself.
Trish and I are leaving for CA this Tuesday. We will stay at her daughters a day and then go on to Long Beach for the conference. On our way back we will stay at Heathers for a couple days as well.
I am feeling pretty low tonight honey. I feel as though there was so much that was incomplete about our life together. The last 8 years of it was hard for us. There were many family challenges to get through. It did take away from our time together. I can hear you right now saying . . . "we are together and that is all that matters" . . . that is so true, but we aren't now and I miss and need you so much.
I am OK most of the time honey. I keep busy. It helps.
I looked at the clouds today, they were my kind of clouds. I thought about what you would have said about the sky today. . . you would have said, "this my wife's kind of sky." I saw your spirit floating by. I saw your gentleness being there for anyone and everyone who needed it.
I love you so much.
Lindanne
Replies
Hi,
9 months for me day after tomorrow. Then 4 days later will be our 31st anniversary. I did so well all day today. Visited grave sites, on to church, home to take care of King & then took myself out to dinner. Next I went to GriefShare. Came home and was fine. No knotted stomach this morning. Then ZAP. I broke down and could not stop crying. When does it stop? I wish I could move forward as far as getting this place ready to sell before i run out of money. GriefShare was good tonight. I wish for all of us some true happiness without guilt for having some. Hang in my friend. Love ya, Val
I know what you mean about the loneliness. I am 18 mo. along -- twice as far as you. I don\'t have that searing pain in my heart as I did during the first yr. Life is just so different for us. When you have been with someone most of your adult life, it is very difficult to figure out what to do next. I hope you have a good trip to CA.
Hugs - Doye
The loneliness is the hardest part for all of us I think. Going from a couple to one is a very difficult transition. My husband and I talked and talked all the time. I miss those conversations...when he would call just to tell me something he had heard on the radio and had to share it. I am at 16 months and I have many more better days now than bad but when they hit they are tough. You just have to focus on all the good times and memories...Hugs, Ellen