So Lonely

I can't stop crying this morning.  The one year anniversary of your leaving us is but a couple weeks away.  There are so many things I want to do, and either can't afford it, or don't have the energy to do. 
The kids don't understand. They rarely call.  They don't offer to help.  I can call for help and they will come, but they never offer.  It hurts and it is so lonely.
The lawn needs mowed and it is going to rain.  By the time the sun comes out (one day this week, hopefully) it will be so high it will take many trips dumping the clippings.
I feel the pain of mistakes I have made. I feel the pain of not being able to do anything about it, ever! 
It is one of the most difficult days I have felt in a long time.