So kinda slacked lol

So I haven't been on in awhile. Gonna do a small update.So today i got the call that I'll be working for Domino's Pizza as a delivery driver. I'm kinda pumped cause i'll be working with Danielle's boyfriend. Telly and I are still rocky. She told me to stop worrying about everything, so I'm trying to stop. LAst night was a bad night. She told me she's feeling unimportant and jealous of the fact that I seem to have such a much more amazing time with everyone else. Honestly I don't, i really miss her alot and just want to kiss and hold her again, but i don't see that happening anytime soon. We had a huge discussion about everything going on and i brought up the fact that as much as she feels unimportant, i feel extremely unimportant. I asked her when the last time she did anything for me was, and she coudn't remember. She admitted that she may be slacking in the trying to be together area, but she didn't seem sorry or too keen on fixing it. I'm getting a little bit sick of trying so hard to try and fix this relationship and keep it together if she won't even try. There's only so far i can go before it falls apart and I really don't want that.She said that the negatives stick out more in her mind then the positives...honestly, I'm starting to resent her a bit for that. I do so many positive things, and yet she just keeps smashing me with these negative things, no wonder i worry and feel hopeless cause no matter what my good deeds are forgotten. I'm not fucking perfect...I can only keep trying. I just wish she would see my efforts, she would see that I'm trying so hard to get the closeness and trust back. I don't think the trust should be gone at all though, I haven't done anything to warrant this. I message her every day, I try to be with her every day, I invite her to everything. I don't know...I was told the other day that she's jealous of the Asians. Doesn't know what to make of our friendship. Sometimes it feels like when I get close friends I need to drop them because she feels threatened by them. I know what it was like with my jealousy of Josh. So I try to push them aside because honestly I want her to see that I love her and can only see her. She's so gorgeous and I love her personality most of the time. I miss her all the time and I just want to hold her. I miss everything so much and that makes me cry. I'm so miserable without her and so miserable when things are like this. I love when she's smiling and hate when i hurt her. I don't mean to. I'd give anything to just have it all to being good again, but I know that's not an overnight I'll just keep trying.I don't know, I'm just done for a bit