So it has come to this.

I will start this story at the end. I was cheated, lied to and played by someone I loved.

For the last two years, we have been separated, after a six-year relationship. During the last two years, we would still continue to see each other. Well, whenever it was convenient for me to see me. I am now thinking about it and perhaps all of it was to keep tabs on me and to make sure I wasn’t moving on, to keep tabs on where I am living and who I am seeing. I excluded friends of over 20 years because after we broke up suddenly he was insecure about him. That should have been a clue. I would invite him to go with me places. I invited him to Italy and my cottage. He would always make up an excuse after he was super excited to come, his son being one and having a job interview being another. Believe me, they are excuses. I should say more like lies. He filled me with fake promises and ideas of a life I wanted. Sending me pictures of his bank account with the idea of having of buying me a ring, taking me on vacation and buying a house. Well, he did all those things except it is all with another woman. 2 years he dragged me on like this. With him saying why he would still contact with me after all this time, why would he waste his time? Texts saying don’t worry I haven’t forgotten you.

We broke up because I believe and still do, he was cheating on me and when I questioned he didn’t see a future with me and didn’t want to be with me. So I left, I put everything into his name and left.  He couldn’t then admit that by sending over 100 texts to another woman from 6am to 1130pm was wrong, excepting photo messages when he works in a banking environment. Hiding in areas of the house to text back and exclaim he wasn’t doing anything wrong. Claiming this whole time all these messages was from a co-worker, a female co-worker. He admitted to that. I had all the phone records but told me if I showed him it would be the last thing I do. (Meaning that he wouldn’t talk or text me) disappearing to all hours of the night, unreachable while I stayed home and watched his son, which he had never done in the 6 years of being with him. He changed and wasn’t normal that these things were happening. I left and didn’t fight for anything. I left him with things as he was the one with the kid and it wasn’t easy for me to take everything that was mine but it was what I paid for and what I brought into the relationship, imagine now if I had actually left him with more than he deserved.

April 18, 2017, a co-worker of mine approached me and was actually scared to tell me. Another co-worker was out in Orleans when he ran into my ex with another woman. This co-worker who ran into him had no idea that the past two years we hadn’t been together. He was going to ask where I was when my ex-proceeded to introduce this woman to him as his fiancé. Wait! his fiancé. Not a girlfriend, his fiancé. Both our stomachs dropped. Again this co-worker who my ex ran into had no idea we were broken up, and once he learned this he went to this mother (Oh yeah, I work with his family) laughed it off saying that haha it has been two years. Now all of this would have been ok I guess if my ex just a month ago was acting like we were getting back together, explaining to me that he just bought a house and that he doesn’t have everything because he is missing the one thing and that he was lonely too. How long has it been since this new woman has been in his life? I mean I have been calling it from day one, two years ago, which he denied when I confronted him about this fiancé situation he still couldn’t admit to it, even though there was undeniable proof. He couldn’t do the decent thing and admit to it and let me go. Instead, he tells me that I have it all figured out and he doesn’t have to tell me anything. Tells me I can move on guilt free (him saying well if you have found someone else and laugh about it with me, me telling him that there isn’t anyone else) He asked someone else to marry him. That he is sorry for wasting my time and the pain he has caused me and I am free from him and his BS that I can truly move on with my life!! Good bye me (my name, he used my name)

Guilty what am I guilty of? The past two years you have kept tabs on me. Making sure where I was living, who I was talking to and who I was seeing. You built me up with fake promises. A life you damn well knew I wanted. He made me feel that with even in the past month he wanted to be with me. And he has had a fiancé this entire time. I helped him cheat on his fiancé. For almost two years he was coming over having sex with me and leaving. It was only this past November 2016 I told him I couldn’t do it anymore because I was tired of always being sad when he left. He said that we would wait then for when we could be together again. Now he used his pension money in order to get a down payment for the house he has bought and while his money was money was coming in bit by bit he would send me screen shots of his bank account to prove he was getting money. This was in December 2016 and like I said he wanted to buy me a ring and buy a house with me.

Wasting my time! Really! You didn’t want me wasting yours but you admit to wasting mine. I am going to be 35, you can’t understand how you have wasted my time. I made decisions in my life based on you. I gave up things because there could have been a chance with you. Even moving into my new apartment last month he had something to say about it. He didn’t want me to but I did it, one thing for me this past two years and you go and get yourself a fiancé.

The BS he caused himself. I was the easiest break-up he ever had and he had some crazy ex-girlfriends and a crazy baby mama but really were they crazy or did he make them crazy? Just like he did me, played them too maybe, promised a life and was so quick to take it all away and spit it out like it was nothing. Couldn’t even say it, that he had a fiancé, couldn’t even admit her, and so if she ever reads this, know that he couldn’t even admit to you, he didn’t even acknowledge you. He has only left more BS behind him and mostly feels safe now that he let someone else do the dirty work for him and he doesn’t have to admit to anything.

Know this fiancé, I did not know about you until 3 days ago. If I would have known, I would have been long gone and come to peace with my life 2 years ago. He carried me this whole time on a leash to make sure I wasn’t happy. He knew I wasn’t. I have done more crying in the past 2 years than I have in a long time. I had wanted to be with him, even though my family and friends might have disowned me. I would have never slept with him if I had known about you but know that he did this to you too and if you ever wanted to speak with me or see proof. I have texts, phone history and emails I have sent. It is all there, all of it. Just because you delete things on your phone never truly means it is gone.

To him – you have broken my will. You are a horrible person and again like I said to you if you allowed me to help you cheat on your fiancé – you are disgusting. You treat people like they are nothing and you wonder why you don’t have a support system. Yeah, you know that conversation via, text a month ago. No one is ever there to help you, oh but I can take credit right…from saving you from a life of living in your parent's basement and bringing you closer to your son, also a text message about a month ago.

Sorry, this is so long. There is more. Let me know if you want to read it.