so it continues today

God I am having a bad day today! The big demo at work was cancelled….again! It’s like the 5th time already….unreal. I really don’t care but it holds things up….whatever.  I feel like I can’t function properly today. My head hurts and my anxiety has ramped itself back up again. It’s amazing how much anxiety/worry/stress I have over this freaking condo! I know it’s a buildup of other things but if I could just get rid of that thing I know my life would be happy again! I have so many years before this can even be a dream…so I fester day & night….what a nice life.  I feel I could jump out of my skin right now! Usually I feel a bit better by the end of the day….not today. I’m actually looking forward to seeing the doctor tomorrow….I don’t like meds but my God I need something to help me through the day until I can get my mind back. I know I’m not going completely mad but it does feel like it when your entire day is draped in a joyless/hopeless state of being.  God when will I have myself back? Please let it be soon!! I am trying to envision the day that place sells….it will be one of the greatest days ever!! Reality has me trapped right now….so I will spend the next several years waiting. God get me through this time and back to normal!!! This self-inflicted hell is unbearable at times….like right about now. My heart has been pounding since I woke this morning…I feel like I’m fighting through a dark fog today. What an awful day it has been after such a nice weekend…….God help me please!!!