So I had a really good talk with a great friend today...

I had a great discussion with a friend of mine today.  It really made me think about how to be grateful fo everything that you have.  She went through some stuff and she managed to put a positive spin on everything.
I took that with me for the rest of the day.  As a matter of fact, I want to take that with me for the rest of my life.  What happens if this IVF doesn't work, will it define me as a person?  No.  I had this vision of my life.  A little box that I thought I would be happy in.  Life is not a little box.  I want a great life.  I want children, but my life will not end without this cycle being successful.  What I am going to focus on is doing the best I can to make sure this opportunity has as much chance to succeed.  I'm not looking at how long we've been together or how long we're married.  I am supposed to learn something so that I can be a better person and ultimately a better parent.  I want my kids to have every opportunity and never be told that they can't be the best they can be. 
I am focusing positively on my party for Saturday.  I really want to knock it out of the park and go nuts with it and hope and pray they love the food.
I actually had a dream about what was happening after the procedure, but I didn't get to finish the dream about what happened..like was I pregnant and did it succeed or was there an issue.
At first I felt anxiety when the doctors told us that we can be put on a schedule. I mean let's face it.  We've never made it this far.  I mean never.  It was like we're able to run the race and qualify for the Olympics.  I mean, we've never left the village.  Actually, we drove by the stadium, but now we're actually in the stadium.  I'm getting drug tested and I'm awaiting the results so I can get in line for my race.
Now I feel an odd calmness about the whole thing.  Maybe because I'm preoccupied about the party.  Ya know what? let me focus on my party.
BTW, i miss my mom, she's away for a wedding, but I still miss talking to her every day.  The wedding is on Saturday.  I hope everything goes well there too!
G'night!