So...I did it.
Totally sad I had to tell my step sister in law about my step dad. But I did it. I sat for hours and just stared at the typed message to her trying to make myself press send and every time I would get close, the thought in my head was, "once its done, it cant be undone." "once you send it...things will change." Then I thought..that monster..what he did to me cannot be undone. and once he did it ....everything changed. He took no thought to that...so why should I? i hit send. My stomach was in knots. My head was spinning. I was relieved yet scared outta my mind. I clicked off the computer so I wouldnt have to see the red message light come on.
The curiosity about killed me so i logged back in and sure enough..there it was. that big red, glowing in my face message notice.
I held my breath, started shaking and clicked on it.
She wasnt mad at me. She believed me. She wished I had told her sooner, but come to find out the same thing had been done to her by someone when she was younger, so shes always been up front with her kids about unacceptable touching. She understood where I was coming from and wasnt mad or judgemental.
I feel better knowing that today, I may have kept some little girls from being destroyed and suffering the rest of their lives like i have.
I cried. I cried and cried. It was such a relief. Now, if only I could get relief in other areas of my life.
Im one messed up puppy...
The curiosity about killed me so i logged back in and sure enough..there it was. that big red, glowing in my face message notice.
I held my breath, started shaking and clicked on it.
She wasnt mad at me. She believed me. She wished I had told her sooner, but come to find out the same thing had been done to her by someone when she was younger, so shes always been up front with her kids about unacceptable touching. She understood where I was coming from and wasnt mad or judgemental.
I feel better knowing that today, I may have kept some little girls from being destroyed and suffering the rest of their lives like i have.
I cried. I cried and cried. It was such a relief. Now, if only I could get relief in other areas of my life.
Im one messed up puppy...
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