So, I am a liar...

So... I am a liar. It's time to say it not only to myself. If I can't stop it all by myself why not to look for help among people who understand me? First I want to say english is not my native language so please be patient for any mistakes I make. I'll try my best. I was looking for a similar group in my country (Poland) but google gave me no serious results. And I have no idea where to look for. As I said, I am a liar. It's a habit. No, more than a habit. It becomes my nature. I can lie about anything. Well, there are some lies I can explain (of course I always look for explanation). But how to explain that I lied about spending two dimes or so? We aren't that short of money. Whenever I feel the truth may cause pain or anger of others I lie. Often I don't want it, but I'm afraid of someones reaction. It's easier to lie than to stand the reality. I wan't to stop it and I wan't to stop it right now. It looks like I'm on the bottom. My wife wants a divorce and I can't blame her. My bussiness is hardly earning money to pay its own costs - nothing for home. I don't want to work for someone else, but as a self-employer I don't take enough effort. I prefer to read a book instead of working. When my wife comes back home I say I was working. Wich isn't true of course. I go to the shop to buy food and buy some sweet just for myself hiding it from Her... There is no actual reason to lie, She would understand... But I lie. And finally the truth comes somehow. Not always, but sometimes it does. And She can no longer stand it. How can She trust me? How can She believe in any of my words? I don't know when and why I started lying. I was a kid. I remember hiding facts from parents. "Hey I didn't do it"... Really. When we are kids we think we are so smart... Soon my parents knew that not everything what I was saying was true. Bad marks? No, everything was ok. And then when after meeting a teacher they were telling me I'd a 1 (it's the worst notehere in Poland) i was "surprised. "It must be a misunderstanding, I'll explain it". But there was no explanation. I wasn't bad student so it wasn'tt very often. But it was happening and I couldn't force myself to tell the truth. I felt no support from them so I was lying about more and more things. They didn't know about my problems with a girlfriend, about illnesses. Then I found a new girlfriend, we felt really good together. I felt I can be honest to her. And I was... for some time. We engaged, got married. There where problems among us I can't say even here. I had another compulsive problem - masturbation (still a problem for me). And there - the lies started again. It was just beggining, later like with parents I started to lie about more and more things and about less and less important things. I had problems with social insurance, sometimes couldn't focus on my bussiness. I run into debts (I still have some of them). Finally my wife couldn't stand it any more, we started to argue. It was getting worse and worse, and yet, I kept lying. I knew that being honest was extremally important to Her. What should I do now... There are still many unspoken things, lies that will hurt Her very much. But I don't want to lie anymore. I don't want to loose Her although it might be to late already. I love Her and I know what I am saying. Does She love me to? I don't know anymore. She did, I'm quite sure about that. But it is too much for Her. Today She found out again I was lying. She told me to pack my bags and leave. Then She said I can stay for one more night, but nothing more... what should I do? What have I done?...