so how do i act?
For some time now... even before my recent miscarriage... I have been asking myself: 'how do i act to these young girls who are where i was at 20... thinking life will be flawless?' When I was 19 I met my ex-husband. at 21 we were engaged. I had a bright future. And all the women I worked with at the time who were over 30 said 'dont do it, you just dont even know.... dont do it...' I remember Toshia, my manager at Rave, telling me what life would really be like as an adult. And i thought she was so ridiculous. Her and others...I thought they were all unfortunate hags who couldnt possibly know what true love was, and if they were unhappy, surely they brought it upon themselves. Then I got married. Holy shit, girls. dont do it. LOL... But now here I am. Now I am the older jaded one at work. There are several girls there... 20 years old. getting married to men they will never live happy with. One is so clouded. She is a student. She has decided they will have a $60,000 wedding, move into the same subdivision I am in and have kids within 5 years. There is no telling her this isnt going to happen. First her fiance does what I did for a living. She thinks since he is union, he wont ever be laid off. Ohhhh to have her sense of security. Not to mention the economy... buying a house priced out of her league. And then the baby thing. I mean, it's not that I hope it doesn happen for her. I do... i really do. But let's face it. Nothing is perfect. So when they tell me their fantastic plans I smile and say how wonderful I think it all is. In the back of my head im thinkin... where is Toshia when I need her. Am I terrible. is there a chance these girls have what it takes. or (more importantly) found men who have what it takes. Life isn't perfect. as soon as we all gain the strength and capacity to accept it... I think we will all be happier. or at least less confused....
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I agree with what you say. I think it makes you a stronger, happier person to be able to accept that things are going to go wrong, and we have to have the strength to pick up the pieces and keep going. But I also think that at some point you have to have the dream of a perfect life. It gives you hope and something to work for. Without that hope or dream, what gives you the strength to pick up the pieces when things go wrong? We don\'t pick up the pieces because life sucks, we pick up the pieces because we still have that hope of a happy ending. Most likely, these girls will not have even one of these things go perfect for them, but I think they need that dream to hold on to...at least for a while.
You know, that old saying is true \"if i had known then what i know now\".... how we wouldn\'t have made the mistakes we did make. But then again, that\'s all a part of life and we all have to make mistakes in order to grow... the important thing is to LEARN from our mistakes and help them help us become stronger and wiser for it! I look at these young girls and i wonder why i didn\'t seem to be like that, but then again, that was also 20 years ago for me too... and i guess things have changed even in so short a time as 20 years! I can\'t believe the vast number of young people with all the grand schemes and no dose of reality to back them up. Too many young people used to having mommy and daddy give them what they want, and then when it\'s time to forge life on their own, they haven\'t got a clue how to react to the real world. It\'s not a dream after all..... but anyway, i\'m blathering on, so i\'ll stop. It\'s all just an opinion anyway. Take care, girlfriend, lots of hugs and kisses, as always. Deb :o)