So here I am again

Hello again, here we are once more, blinking in the sunlight or something. I've returned because things never feel particularly peachy keen for me and this is a very well functioning outlet. By now I figure I've become so far removed from the person who originally made this account, both in intent and in functionality, that I may as well be a different person. I guess the first thing to put out there is the answer to this very obvious question, am I ok? The answer is no, probably not. I'm not even sure I want to say why I don't feel ok here, even though I came to write exactly what it was but right now I feel like it might be best to use this entry to treat symptoms rather than the overall underlying issue that I hope to get off my chest in about a weeks time. I'll be honest the catharsis I'm getting from writing here is pretty overwhelming, a weight feels lifted already.
So anyway, to the important stuff, life is actually going pretty well right now, I'm doing what I wanted to be doing and I'm not doing too badly at it, it's just a shame that motivation is tricky but I'm working on it. Aside from that I'm very much in love, I guess the kicker here is that I don't ever have to doubt that she loves me back. Anyway I feel unrest that prevents me from sleeping a lot of the time and I find that the only way to overcome this is to seek some sort of catharsis to take my mind away from things for long enough for my eyes to fall shut. The thoughts are pervasive and I don't think I'm dealing with them particularly well but they are endemic to the evening so it's just the challenge of working though them. I just wish my girlfriend was here, things are much easier in her arms.