'So here hath been dawning another blue day'

'So here hath been dawning

Another blue Day:

Think wilt thou let it

Slip useless away.

Out of Eternity

This new Day is born;

Into Eternity,

At night, will return.

Behold it aforetime

No eye ever did:

So soon it forever

From all eyes is hid.

Here hath been dawning

Another blue Day:

Think wilt thou let it

Slip useless away.'

I was first introduced to the poem Today by Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) as a hymn at school morning assembly.  Unfortunately I have been unable to find a good recording of Hardwick, the usual tune it is sung to.  Even as a child, the advice to use time wisely struck a chord with me.  Now that I am old and do not have many days left, it seems even more important to me.

In January 2013, I had an accident causing a spinal injury, leaving me paralysed.  I have very limited use of my hands, and even less below my shoulders.  I live alone.  I rely on carers visiting me at around 10am, 4.30pm and 8pm.  I have only a limited influence on when I get up, when I eat and when I go to bed.  Every day I spend uselessly a considerable amount of my limited time out of bed in my wheelchair.  Although my carers do their best, I spend too much time waiting for those I have to rely on.

I find my daily routine mentally damaging.  I have not been out of my home since January 2013, except for hospital visits.  I have not even been upstairs in my home, and rarely leave my room.  As a result, I can not occupy my mind with the here and now, as I used to before my accident.  If I think of the past, it makes me very sad to remember friends or well-known people who are dead, or ill because of advanced years.  Thinking of the future for me is even more gloomy.  I try not to let my days 'slip useless away' but with only limited success.