So Far So Good!
Second day for T was uneventful. The van driver was late but so I called the school to let them know. If a student is late by one minute, they lock them out and don't receive credit that day. If a call is made ahead of time and for a good reason - they allow 5 minutes. Anyway, he didn't complain and said that it was okay. He didn't even complain having to take the van, either. I really expected him to tell me he wasn't going back to that school. Perhaps he sees that he really doesn't have very many options and that this is what he has to do to move on! So happy! Last night I went to a friend's fundraising event - he's running unopposed for council-at-large in our town. The turn out was remarkable! In fact, a past presidential candidate was there! There were so many people there. What a popular guy this is - I got there late and had a difficult time finding a parking space! My husband drove separately and arrived later. I normally don't like to attend functions without him even though I knew I would know lots of people - some I'd rather not see. I ended up having a ball. One of the "perfect" people was there and by default (she was with someone I wanted to talk to) so I found myself telling both of them why I haven't been around. The "perfect" person knew why. She knew that the letter I had the detective read to the high school parents at a parent meeting a year ago, was from me. I told her that that is one of the reasons I decided to become more public and address the drug problem without hiding behind my "closing name" A Parent of a Chemically Dependent Child. I told her that the parent meetings we attended at the high school didn't give the parents anything to walk away with. Stats and what is out there and that was about it. She agreed that parents need some tangible, practical information to have. The three of us agreed that this community is a bubble and that we cannot pretend we have any problems. Oh - and I ran into the mom I wanted to talk to about her son who texted my son about Vicodan. Her hubby's a doctor. I first asked her how he is doing and she said awesome! I told her that my son is, too, but that I still have concerns and told her why. I also told her she might want to keep her eyes and ears open regarding her son. She thanked me.
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I wanted to add to this journal but the site wouldn\'t let me so I have to do it here.
Can\'t believe I didn\'t mention this first. I picked J up from his soccer reffing yesterday (it was a drive) so we had time to talk. There is something about being in a vehicle that makes conversations a bit easier. Anyway, I think he might have brought up the drug subject with me. I don\'t recall how we got on the subject but he was pretty open. I am guessing there is more, but I was surprised how candid he was. He told me that yes he experiences with Adderall and pain meds but he and his friends, except for one, can handle it. He said he doesn\'t have enough money to spend on these particular drugs. He even admitted that he tried Oxy ONCE last year and that it was the best high he ever had in his life!!! Great to hear! And why would he share this with me? Because I don\'t know what I\'m talking about. Not everyone who does drugs (including alcohol) becomes addicted! Okay...... and why does he feel the need to share all this information with me? So I\'ll let up? This is surreal.
Living up to social expectations is very hard. You are so strong to override that and move on! I think these days every family has a story to tell and we are so much more supportive of this than in the past. In the end, we have our family! Great news about T not fighting the Van thing. M. didn\'t either and I was really relieved because it saved me 4 hrs drive time a day! Truthfully, I would have hesitated at first about telling your friend about her son\'s texting. But given what I have been through, and most importantly, what YOU have been going through I am so glad you talked to her!!! I tend to make \"light\" of how things are going in our life because I don\'t want to continue to hash it over and over. Pick and choose is my plan. Sounds like a very fun social event too!! You go girl!
I too would have said \"thank you\" for info about my child\'s possible drug use; you can\'t support changes if you don\'t know....! Good to hear that the event was so \"successful\" for you. I think that you have been right to take a cautious approach to using your name when discussing your family issues ; even if everyone knows it\'s you. Not only is there a general privacy concern for the other kids, I am always suspicious that it would get around and affect property and health insurance.....sounds paranoid, but every community has it\'s own version of red lining.
Sharing in the car about drug use....perhaps he\'s flying trial balloons. My guess is that he is more deeply involved than he is admitting to....the drug choices and nonchalance is noteworthy....as is the self reported financial situation....this does not seem to add up to casual use. I would be glad to be wrong here!!!!
You and your family are in my thoughts. Take Care!!!
Wow... looks like you\'re so vocal and public now... that\'s GREAT... you\'ve gotten so much more stronger since I\'ve met you!
And the \"perfect\" people aren\'t perfect... lol
Love you!
It sounds like you have made great progress in voicing your concerns. You go girl! I agree with penpal\'s concern about J. But him telling you things is definite progress. Stay strong!