So empty

On the 2nd of May it was seven months since my son left us through suicide and in some ways it seems like a long time ago but in others it seems like yesterday.  There are still times I have a hard time believing that it really happened.  Today as been one of those days when it feels like I have a big hole in my heart and nothing to fill it in.  I have a wonderful wife and daughter and grandkids and daughter-in-law and friends but the emptiness, at times is so bad.  Most days are not too bad but today has been a real hard one.  I just hope as time goes on that hole will be a little smaller and I can forgive him and be happy with what I have not with what I don't have.