so down

I Feel so lonely and depressed today. I woke up in such an angry mood and had a fight with my fiance. Its just so frustrating he doesnt understand the pain i am in. I just feel so alone stuck in this world of constant hurt i wish i could scream. Then i feel guilty that everyone is worried bout me. that makes me feel guilty and im sure they would all be better offf without me. I feel like such a failure and so worthless. I blame myself for everything these days n i cant seem to get past it. No wonder no1 wants to be around me im just to much trouble. I havent had a good nights sleep in over 2 weeks maybe that is afffecting my mood. i just feel like running away and never seeing any1 ever again.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

PLease please please stop. Just stop! You are having a moment of despair but please do not generalize it... you have to sit down and think hard... VERY HARD and come up with a list of things in this world that makes u happy. I know right now it is tough, but just think of it.... life is not always beautiful and it is not always easy BUT IT IS NOT ALWAYS BAD EITHER. There are moments in this life that has made u laugh... moments that you love. Remember those moments. TRY HARD AND REMEMBER because you don\'t want your current pain to swallow you into a pit of despair. This is temporary and will pass... Breathe.
lis25
lis25

You r right it is temporary i can have a day like that then today was fine. I really dont understand these mood swings i am having at all.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I understand completely how you are feeling! I had one of those desperate spells that lasted for about 2 wks. I am somewhat, yet temporarily, out of that pit of despair for now, but I know it will come and go. I understand you completely--maybe more than I would like to admit. :) I know how frustrating it can be when your fiance doesn\'t understand your pain. My husband has been the same way with all 3 of our losses. I really think it makes you feel more alone. My husband and I were fighting non-stop when I was in my place of despair. I think when we are so depressed and down, and they can\'t understand it, it only puts a bigger wedge between us...making us feel more alone, and making our despair even worse. Allow yourself to feel this pain. Accept it for where you are right now. Don\'t feel guilty about it. It is part of the healing process. I know the feeling of wanting to run away and not deal with it. But really, that would just make things worse for everyone, including you. You have to work through this pain. You can\'t run from it. I know the feeling of being a failure. I, too, am right there with ya. You are voicing everything I am feeling. I am not sure others can fully understand this. But, then again, they haven\'t lived it. Please remember that we understand and are hear to listen and talk if you need. You are not a failure. You are worth a lot to many people! Please let me know if you need to talk! Hugs and prayers are being sent your way!!