So Confused

I Have no idea what to do i am so confused. Everytime i see that girl it gets worse and worse.... I just want my girlfriend here to make it all better... I found out today a kid i went to middle school with commited suicide last night... This year i have had two girls touch me innappropriately and its bringing back really bad memories i dont wanna remember... All my friends always brag about how they've had sex and when they find out i'm a virgin they make fun of me.. I wanna lose my virginity but then again i dont i wanna wait...  What i really want is to be able to curl up in my girlfriends arms and just let everything out to just open up and her tell me it'll be okay... I just wanna know why that girl means so much to me when idk her... Man i wish my girl was her sooo bad... LIFE SUCK SOOO BAD RIGHT NOW!!!