So close, yet SO far away
Hey everyone... I need help, or advice, or a way out... SOMETHING. See, Tyrone and I have been drifting apart, so far apart... and I can't hold it against him, or can I?He tells me he's going through stress, but he won't share with me, won't let me in, just pushes me away. He tells me his friend from childhood died, but he pulls even further from me. Tells me he's dealing with stress at work, and yet, doesn't want to hold me close and forget his problems for awhile. He tells me that he's feeling pressure in keeping the household going, when all I ask of him is to keep groceries in the house. LAst night, he even tried to kill himself... I've been locked out, access denied, code changed, I can't get in. Which also means I don't know how to help. The further he pushes me away, the closer my ex and I get. The closer I feel to him, the better I feel. DAniel and I have taken me back to a happy place, but I really do still fear what's going to happen to Tyrone. I don't know if I should just take the added pressure off of him and leave him. That way.. he doesn't have to worry about the household, or me, all he has to do is live. Then again, is that cruel? Should I stay until he's better? I mean, for God's sake, I haven't gotten sex in over 2 months. Should I go? Do I stay? Where do I fit into this picture?
Replies
Sit down and talk to him, tell him things need to change and communication needs to be started or you\'ll walk. xx
Honestly? If it were MY life, this is what I would do:
make sure I was seeing a therapist
have only one relationship at a time, and don\'t start another til the one I\'m currently in is over
devote my energy, affection, and concentration on one thing instead of scattering it between my depression, my current, and my ex/possible future...
Good luck, hon.
I am going to be brutally honest hun, please don\'t take offense, I have read your journals and posts for so long, even on your friends list at one time, so I know a little bit about your history here, my advice to you would be to (for the time being) Eliminate the ex from this equation... and maybe change your way of thinking about sex, for you, sex has always been the make or break part of your relationship, that has to change, people change, go through difficult times.. sex may not be the focus sometimes, yes.. even for months at a time, it doesn\'t mean he doesn\'t love you.. his libido may be dead due to the depression, the other thing would be to get into counseling with his as soon as you can (if you want to help him).. view him as your friend, you wouldn\'t leave your friend at their lowest point would you? so don\'t leave him.. he should be your friend first, your lover second... sex shouldn\'t even be brought into your decision of weather to stay or leave.. if he is abusive to you, then leave.. if he is distant and shutting you out.. then, like any friend would do.. take his hand and help him through, be patient.. if he doesn\'t want to be saved.. and you have no other choice, of course leave.. but not because you ex is waiting in the wings.. you know what I am trying to say, what ever you decide, it has to be for the right reasons. Good luck hun.
I hate myself for not having any advice as the above ... all i can say is listen to the above people. they have great advice... im always online, so we chat if you want...i have no life, so yeah...
good luck and take care of yourself.
huh, wow