So alone

I am in a marriage that makes me so unhappy. I met my husband 6 years ago on a dating website. I was in the process of relocating from CA to GA, so I joined Match.com. within a few days I got an email from my husband, who wasn't anything but a stranger at the time. I decided to give it a try and we exchanged pictures and started speaking on the phone. I am Hispanic and grew up with a very macho father. I always promised myself I would not be in a relationship with a person like my dad. Yet here I am exactlyine the same situation as my mother. When I moved to GA my plans backfired and I ended up moving in with M. I will call him that to keep his identity secret. Within a month of living together I found out I was pregnant. I was shocked and scared. Here I was with M, living in a state that I didn't know nor did I have anyone except for him. I told him about the pregnancy and he was very excited. I was a bit relieved to know he wanted this baby as much as I did. I kept wondering when he would introduce me to his family and his excuse was they were in Mexico. I started noticing that his behavior was weird. I thought maybe it was because of my pregnancy and unbeknownst to me he was still speaking to other women in the website. I was confused, angry, sad, scared. Here I was pregnant and so many miles from my family. I confronted him and of course he denied it. He reassured me that he was going to be faithful from that moment forward. I was 8 months pregnant when I caught him texting with an ex girlfriend. I hurt so bad inside I knew I was not in love with him but I thought once I had my baby he would be happy and remain faithful. I stayed with him and things just kept getting worse between us. By the time my daughter was 3 mths old I was ready to go. I decided I needed to get away and distance myself. A few days before I was to leave to CA he received a letter that his petition to stay in the US was being revoked and he would have to leave. I was so scared I couldn't be able to raise my daughter alone in a state that was still so new. We decided to go and get married through the court. Fast forward 5 years and 2 dtrs now. I am miserable and I feel so alone. We don't even sleep in the same room since Sienna my first dtr was born. I have been through so many things because of him. I have suffered 3 miscarriages and when I was greiving my babies all he would say was that I needed to move on. I work because he doesn't help me pay my bills. Shit he barely even helps me with the girls. I am mother, father, housewife and everything. I feel so stressed that I am always yelling at my girls. I gate who I am becoming. I just wanted to move on from this toxic relationship but I am so scared. I don't want my girls to be hurt. This is why I joined...I need help!