so alone
I didn't want to add this to Rocker's memory... today as before, i have the feeling that i am all alone and that there is no place in my childs heart... even though i go through things with my children and i am a rock for them, i have an open door for them, i am alone. i feel that i am only wanted when there is something to get out of me. i wish that i could feel valuable to someone. i feel all the pain but no happiness. i keep hoping that it will come but it doesn't. what is my worth? why am i still here? would someone miss me if i was gone? for how long? i sit and look at my life and there is nothing, just nothing. when a mother tries to be everything for her children, why?? why do they make me feel so unwanted. they shrug away when i try to hug them... am i just hurting from what has happened today...i see the same treatment after nattie died. all i can ask is why. i wish i could move so far away, it wouldn't hurt so bad if i wasn't here to see it under my nose. i wish i could go to live with nattie and rocker. or maybe they would make me feel so unwanted...i need to go do my laundru but i think that i will stay home in a dark room and cry....all alone....like usual
Replies
I am so sad to hear you so down and upset. Please try to take care of yourself. I know it is hard to see the good things in your life, but try to reach out to family and friends. Hang on and Big Hugs.
oh i\'m not sure honey why they are like that. i was and still am that way with my parents to a degree. i will not share my pain of losing Reece with them. maybe because i blamed myself or i felt they blamed me. or maybe i just don\'t want them to hurt any more than that are all ready hurting. but you need to talk to us, other family memebers and friends. and yes, you would be missed!! love you! ~~ charlayne
Hugs to you!