So Sad...

I did another HPT this morning ... negative, I told DH and he looked at me so sad and said, do another one, maybe that one is wrong.... it broke my heart. I said well, this one is clearly a negative, why do another one?
 
But he was so insistent that I did... BFN
so now I know it is definitely going to be a bfn this month, I just have to wait for AF to come and then hope like crazy that the embies survive the thawing and that the one they put back takes.
My biggest fear is that the angel we lost is the only child we will ever know and deep down I just feel that that is our reality... I am getting older, I am not producing a lot of eggs to start with (they only retrieved 6 from 22 mature follicles) and DH and I can't seem to get pregnant on our own no matter how hard we try, how well we time it, or how many vitamis we take. Even the IVF which lead to a pregnancy failed in the end.  
I feel so terribly sad and alone today, we both had high hopes this month but alas, it was not meant to be, yet again.