Snicker.
I really need an Irony choice on what kind of post this is, lol.
So after posting, I went out and moved that snake again. Yep, it was dead this time. I didn't intend to kill it - I just didn't want it in my yard anymore. And by the time I realized that the snake repellant trapped it instead of chasing it off... oh well, can't do anything more about it now. Worst part is that now as I start going to sleep, visions of it pop into my head and freak me out and I have to practice my refocusing techniques to get rid of those thoughts. UGH.
So about that camper. Again, Snicker.... my walking friend I've been talking about lately, tells me all the time how she prays whenever she has a decision to make, and so I thought ok, that will help me sort out the pros and cons... and so I prayed that if this was something that was meant to be, or not, I'll let God decide... and I got home and discovered my furnace died - AS a snowstorm was about to hit. I couldn't see any pilot light on it or on my water heater so I called the gas company... turned out he couldn't see the pilot lights either, but it was working on the water heater, just went out on my furnace... my 1959 monster of a furnace. He got it working again - for how long, who knows. It's time to start checking into a new one. UGH.
And that camper is still calling.... not for running away, but for WONDERFULLY long weekends with the dogs in the forest, for parking next to the business if money gets tight so that I could live in it while boarding dogs AND rent out the house as backup income, and for eventually taking a trip back to the Grand Canyon again to say my final goodbye to my X since that was the last place we went when things were still semi-ok between us. Yeah, I still have my moments of grief, though they're mostly just memories now...
And so I immediately procrastinated, lol. I'm going to get estimates for the furnace after this foot of snow melts away this weekend (btw, it's still coming down and my snowblower STILL doesn't work, but at least the furnace is). And I'm going to give my friend at the credit union a call to check into payments on that camper; well, once she can actually get to work, lol...
And those insecurities I mentioned the other day? These are insecurities of my qualities, both good and bad... about being uncomfortable at the nursing home and being so totally clueless on what to say, about feelings of guilt that maybe I should have been at my X's bedside more at the end (feeling like I abandoned him) and then thinking that no, things had gotten so bad that just being there could have been bad for both me and him in so many ways... feelings of insecurity about what kind of a person I am and want to be, where I want to change, where I want to grow, whether or not I can make it financially on my own.... I think I avoided these things when I got married - just lived to be a wife and a mom. But now... yeah, I did mention the word "lost" last time, didn't I?
Oh, and one more thing... I found a building for my business, right next door to the animal shelter. The cost of this one AND the one behind it that could be rented out for extra income is $200,000 LESS than the other buildings I've been looking at. Location - a bit out of the way, but you know, it just might work and my business plan only has 1 page left to finish before it gets printed out... Well, I've got more shovelling to do, we're now up to 14 inches. LATER!
So after posting, I went out and moved that snake again. Yep, it was dead this time. I didn't intend to kill it - I just didn't want it in my yard anymore. And by the time I realized that the snake repellant trapped it instead of chasing it off... oh well, can't do anything more about it now. Worst part is that now as I start going to sleep, visions of it pop into my head and freak me out and I have to practice my refocusing techniques to get rid of those thoughts. UGH.
So about that camper. Again, Snicker.... my walking friend I've been talking about lately, tells me all the time how she prays whenever she has a decision to make, and so I thought ok, that will help me sort out the pros and cons... and so I prayed that if this was something that was meant to be, or not, I'll let God decide... and I got home and discovered my furnace died - AS a snowstorm was about to hit. I couldn't see any pilot light on it or on my water heater so I called the gas company... turned out he couldn't see the pilot lights either, but it was working on the water heater, just went out on my furnace... my 1959 monster of a furnace. He got it working again - for how long, who knows. It's time to start checking into a new one. UGH.
And that camper is still calling.... not for running away, but for WONDERFULLY long weekends with the dogs in the forest, for parking next to the business if money gets tight so that I could live in it while boarding dogs AND rent out the house as backup income, and for eventually taking a trip back to the Grand Canyon again to say my final goodbye to my X since that was the last place we went when things were still semi-ok between us. Yeah, I still have my moments of grief, though they're mostly just memories now...
And so I immediately procrastinated, lol. I'm going to get estimates for the furnace after this foot of snow melts away this weekend (btw, it's still coming down and my snowblower STILL doesn't work, but at least the furnace is). And I'm going to give my friend at the credit union a call to check into payments on that camper; well, once she can actually get to work, lol...
And those insecurities I mentioned the other day? These are insecurities of my qualities, both good and bad... about being uncomfortable at the nursing home and being so totally clueless on what to say, about feelings of guilt that maybe I should have been at my X's bedside more at the end (feeling like I abandoned him) and then thinking that no, things had gotten so bad that just being there could have been bad for both me and him in so many ways... feelings of insecurity about what kind of a person I am and want to be, where I want to change, where I want to grow, whether or not I can make it financially on my own.... I think I avoided these things when I got married - just lived to be a wife and a mom. But now... yeah, I did mention the word "lost" last time, didn't I?
Oh, and one more thing... I found a building for my business, right next door to the animal shelter. The cost of this one AND the one behind it that could be rented out for extra income is $200,000 LESS than the other buildings I've been looking at. Location - a bit out of the way, but you know, it just might work and my business plan only has 1 page left to finish before it gets printed out... Well, I've got more shovelling to do, we're now up to 14 inches. LATER!
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