Small Victories

Today wasn't a bad day at all. I went back to the Doctor's officer and my blood pressure was great.  I am also down 8 pounds since the last visit (good news there too).  Everything checked out okay.  I also spoke with my Doctor about what has been going on in my life and she said that it did sound like my wife may have some issues.  That was a good part. After that I went by the house to pick up a few things, namely a bed that I needed to move into my friend's house where I stay when I am in Culpeper.  I got a few things and went on my way.  It was easier to deal with being at the house.  Especially since I noticed that my wife had moved things into my closets and my dressor drawers are now filled up with her stuff (I guess that she really misses me). I went to my friend's house and I was waiting for him to come by.  Heather calls me.  She tells me that she sent me an email about the cats that I am supposed to pick up from the vet for her tomorrow.  I told her that I promised that I would do that and I will take care of it.  She then asked me to take her dry cleaning to a drycleaners in Fredericksburg for her while I was passing through there.  I told her that I didn't think that it was a good idea to take her stuff to the drycleaners for her because we are separated and I am trying to give her space.  I told her that I don't mind doing things for her once in a while, but not all of the time unless we are working on our relationship.  I told her that she needed to find out what life was like without me.  She told me that her life was just fine without me (Why are you asking me to do favors for you then?). At that point I could tell that she was irritated and she became short with me over the phone.  She said that was okay and she got off of the phone with me shortly thereafter.   For the last few years I have been at her becond call.  My father and I had a long talk about this last night and I also had some other family members tell me the same thing.  They were absolutely right!  If I told Heather that I wasn't going to do what she asked she would always cop an attitude with me and be nasty.  I am separated from her and I don't need to put up with that anymore.  She didn't have any respect for me for the last few years of marriage and she treated me more like a servant than a husband.  This is the first time in two years that I have really stood my ground on something and not given in. A lot of my family members made the comment that Heather wants to have her cake and eat it too.  This was very apparent because she is still trying to get me to do things for her and keep my in her life by doing this.  She is the one who wanted space and by God I am going to give it to her.  I don't care if this ends up being the final nail in the coffin of my marriage, but for the marriage to work, down the road, she has to begin respecting me and asking me to take care of all these little tasks.   For the past week and a half I haven't called or emailed Heather unless she has called or emailed me first.  I always remain coordial and pleasant with her.  When she decideds that she wants to work on things I might be there, if she waits too long I won't.  She isn't going to drag me around anymore, I AM MY OWN PERSON NOW!!!  I didn't give in to her this time and it was very empowering to say how I felt (I did it very nicely though). My last entry was about holding fast.  I still tell myself this when I think about her.  If she wants things to work and if it is meant to be she will come back and start the communication heading that way.  If not, I will move on by myself.  I am stilling holding fast, but I have taken the sailcover off of the main and I am making ready to haul anchor and set sail.....she better get on the boat soon or she will be left on shore.