Small move before the big move
We are packing up right now to move to another apartment 10 mins down the street. Gotta be out on the 1st! This new place is kind of an answer to my prayers... God heard me stressing out and said, "Here I got this! Stop worrying!"
Basically, we are moving next summer to Maui and in the same summer my husband wants us to go to Virginia out to the mountains to visit his side of the family. I told him I can't handle traveling almost 6,000 miles away AND moving to another island all in the same summer! It will kill me!
Suddenly this place opens up for rent, furnished, with pots, pans, glasses, dish ware, sheets, etc. etc.! I agonized over it because it would cost more money per month plus storage. But after writing out the pro's and con's there was far more pros than cons so we went for it. Besides, the biggest reason I said yes is because we get to pack up everything NOW and put it all in storage. And then when we're ready to move to Maui it will all be ready to ship. That way I can travel to see family in the summer AND move without getting too overwhelmed. Yes, God has a sense of humor!
In other news.... whenever we have to move, Jeff turns into psycho controlling dictator mode. I pretty much get no say in what we keep or goes. I can't even sit down to try and eat lunch before dropping the fork to jump up to his, "Do you want this? Yes or no? Figure it out or I'm tossing it!" And then running the door to rescue it because he put a bunch of my stuff on the curb (eg: tools, dvd's, cd's, etc). And then today he had the nerve to tell me, "You know, whenever we're getting ready to move I noticed you get so emotional!" WTH!! Are you serious?? I'm not the one going psycho dictator!
Here's a little background about me. Pretty much since the day I was born, in fact even before that, my family was always moving around A LOT. Mom and dad didn't live together, but he pretty much always told her when and where to move. Anyway, each time we had to move, me and my siblings only got ONE suitcase each to bring with us. Everythng else was either left behind or thrown out. The worst part was, I never got to choose or had any say in what went in that suitcase. My mom always made the choice for us as to what went in them. I remember being upset with her over it again and again. Now, imagine starting your life over again from one suitcase over and over and over and over.... at least a dozen or more times. And everything you try to keep or own gets ripped away from you. We usually went back to the same old towns but years later my old friends had moved on, didn't care to be my friend anymore, or simply forgot who I was. So you have to make new friends each time.
As a result whenever someone gave me a gift, I usually tried to hang on to that gift for the rest of my life. Because I never knew if I would ever see them again and I wanted to remember them.
Even when I graduated high school and went off to bootcamp... when you go to bootcamp you can't take anything with you, but the clothes you're wearing and an ID. 3.5 months later when I came back from bootcamp, mom had a couple of small shelves (on a book shelf) of my things. Basically a couple of T shirts, a couple of tank tops and a pair of jeans and some documents. Everything else of mine she threw out while I was gone.
Anyway, so this is a sore spot for me when it comes to moving and why I feel hurt when my husband just starts dumping my things or demands I make a decision at his command or he's throwing it out. WTH!
Yesterday a friend from church came by and offered to help me pack some bins. She said she had an hour or 2. I was very happy. But no more than 5 mins after she got here, she started making comments like, "Oh... well, I'm just not a materialistic person. When I moved here I let everything go and came with a few boxes." Then when I started packing my surround system that I've had for 5 yrs she started lecturing me about how all she has is one speaker she plugs into her ipad and it sounds great. And that's all she needs. She lectured me for like 10 mind about how "they have small things these days are better than all that stuff you have." Then on the way out she turned to hug me good bye and said to me, "It's ok I have faith in you that you can learn to let go." WTH! So basically the whole time from start to end she was lecturing me about how "materialistic" I am!
Let me tell you, just about everything (other than the couch and bed) in my tiny 1 bed room apartment is second hand furniture or has been rescued from someone's curb! 1/2 of my clothes are from thrift stores otherwise I shop at Target, Walmart, or Ross! Yeah I'm so materialistic!!!! Look at all the fancy things I own!!!! I'm such a rotten person for trying to hang on to just a FEW things I own for once in my whole darn life! I'm 34 yrs old and still moving around! People need to give me a freakin BREAK!!! Btw, had my 34th birthday on Monday Oct 5. It was nice. Some friends took us out for dinner. Hubby gave me a cute cat T shirt. Funny he gave me one, I was just thinking about dumping half my T shirts because they're so old and boring. Most of my T shirts people gave to me from trips or I got them in a box along with a product I bought. Yeah they suck pretty bad. That should tell you how MATERIALISTIC I am!!! Can't even buy my own shirts! LMAO!!!
Alright I'm done venting.... have a nice week everyone!
Basically, we are moving next summer to Maui and in the same summer my husband wants us to go to Virginia out to the mountains to visit his side of the family. I told him I can't handle traveling almost 6,000 miles away AND moving to another island all in the same summer! It will kill me!
Suddenly this place opens up for rent, furnished, with pots, pans, glasses, dish ware, sheets, etc. etc.! I agonized over it because it would cost more money per month plus storage. But after writing out the pro's and con's there was far more pros than cons so we went for it. Besides, the biggest reason I said yes is because we get to pack up everything NOW and put it all in storage. And then when we're ready to move to Maui it will all be ready to ship. That way I can travel to see family in the summer AND move without getting too overwhelmed. Yes, God has a sense of humor!
In other news.... whenever we have to move, Jeff turns into psycho controlling dictator mode. I pretty much get no say in what we keep or goes. I can't even sit down to try and eat lunch before dropping the fork to jump up to his, "Do you want this? Yes or no? Figure it out or I'm tossing it!" And then running the door to rescue it because he put a bunch of my stuff on the curb (eg: tools, dvd's, cd's, etc). And then today he had the nerve to tell me, "You know, whenever we're getting ready to move I noticed you get so emotional!" WTH!! Are you serious?? I'm not the one going psycho dictator!
Here's a little background about me. Pretty much since the day I was born, in fact even before that, my family was always moving around A LOT. Mom and dad didn't live together, but he pretty much always told her when and where to move. Anyway, each time we had to move, me and my siblings only got ONE suitcase each to bring with us. Everythng else was either left behind or thrown out. The worst part was, I never got to choose or had any say in what went in that suitcase. My mom always made the choice for us as to what went in them. I remember being upset with her over it again and again. Now, imagine starting your life over again from one suitcase over and over and over and over.... at least a dozen or more times. And everything you try to keep or own gets ripped away from you. We usually went back to the same old towns but years later my old friends had moved on, didn't care to be my friend anymore, or simply forgot who I was. So you have to make new friends each time.
As a result whenever someone gave me a gift, I usually tried to hang on to that gift for the rest of my life. Because I never knew if I would ever see them again and I wanted to remember them.
Even when I graduated high school and went off to bootcamp... when you go to bootcamp you can't take anything with you, but the clothes you're wearing and an ID. 3.5 months later when I came back from bootcamp, mom had a couple of small shelves (on a book shelf) of my things. Basically a couple of T shirts, a couple of tank tops and a pair of jeans and some documents. Everything else of mine she threw out while I was gone.
Anyway, so this is a sore spot for me when it comes to moving and why I feel hurt when my husband just starts dumping my things or demands I make a decision at his command or he's throwing it out. WTH!
Yesterday a friend from church came by and offered to help me pack some bins. She said she had an hour or 2. I was very happy. But no more than 5 mins after she got here, she started making comments like, "Oh... well, I'm just not a materialistic person. When I moved here I let everything go and came with a few boxes." Then when I started packing my surround system that I've had for 5 yrs she started lecturing me about how all she has is one speaker she plugs into her ipad and it sounds great. And that's all she needs. She lectured me for like 10 mind about how "they have small things these days are better than all that stuff you have." Then on the way out she turned to hug me good bye and said to me, "It's ok I have faith in you that you can learn to let go." WTH! So basically the whole time from start to end she was lecturing me about how "materialistic" I am!
Let me tell you, just about everything (other than the couch and bed) in my tiny 1 bed room apartment is second hand furniture or has been rescued from someone's curb! 1/2 of my clothes are from thrift stores otherwise I shop at Target, Walmart, or Ross! Yeah I'm so materialistic!!!! Look at all the fancy things I own!!!! I'm such a rotten person for trying to hang on to just a FEW things I own for once in my whole darn life! I'm 34 yrs old and still moving around! People need to give me a freakin BREAK!!! Btw, had my 34th birthday on Monday Oct 5. It was nice. Some friends took us out for dinner. Hubby gave me a cute cat T shirt. Funny he gave me one, I was just thinking about dumping half my T shirts because they're so old and boring. Most of my T shirts people gave to me from trips or I got them in a box along with a product I bought. Yeah they suck pretty bad. That should tell you how MATERIALISTIC I am!!! Can't even buy my own shirts! LMAO!!!
Alright I'm done venting.... have a nice week everyone!
Replies
embrace the uniqueness that is you! i too have moved more than 30 times in my life, so i know what you\'re talking about. i LOVE things that people give to me. you\'re not materialistic. it sounds to me like you\'re sentimental. please don\'t let other people put you down. tell that woman who came to \"help\" to leave you alone. i want to ask why you are moving all of a sudden? your H sounds like my ex. i have been quietly reading your journals...it could be my writings of the past! stay true to yourself...always, ok?
You don\'t sound materialistic at all to me. You\'re a 34 year old woman, YOU decide what you get to keep and what you get rid of. I understand why you would want to, after moving around so much. I too, have moved around a lot my whole life. Just in my childhood, I lived in DC, Philadelphia, Charleston, SC, Virginia and finally Chicago. But even after moving to Chicago (and I\'ve lived here 21 years now, since I was 15), I think I have moved about 8 times. Just in the last 10 years since my husband and I have been together, we have moved 5 times, from one crappy apartment to the next less crappy apartment, til we have finally moved up to taking over the mortgage on my mom\'s townhouse, when she decided she\'d had enough of the Chicago weather and wanted to retire back in her hometown of Charleston. When we finally moved here, my husband and I looked at each other and were like \"this is the last time we\'re moving ever, right?\" We never want to move again. I have always felt like a nomad, like a never really belonged somewhere, but with this home, I have found that. I hope that you will find that in Maui when you finally get there. Until then, patience, my dear. And know that God will lead you to the right place. Hugs, Sadie
You should be able to keep whatever stuff you want to. I would say you deserve it. My kids say I have way too much stuff. My daughter is a bit of a minimalist. She always has ideas on what I should do. lol. Anyway....your stuff is your stuff. Keep what\'s important to you. Take care, and I hope this move is easy on you.
Thanks for the support, everyone. A different lady from church came over Monday to help me pack up things in the kitchen, we\'ll just call her Fawn. I\'m so glad that people from church have been offering to help me pack when I never even asked. And I found out that the other lady that came over and lectured me, we\'ll call her Daisy, well it turns out Daisy has tried to lecture Fawn as well, different topics though. We were both happy to find out we weren\'t alone in getting treated that way by her and came to the conclusion that she probably does it to everyone. I felt much better after that! Fawn said she\'s told her off a couple of time and I probably should have kicked her out. I told her as soon as she made the materialistic comment I shoved a box in her face and told her to pack. And she didn\'t like that. lol
Hubby said he\'s going to back off me about trying to tell me what to pack, not pack or give away. I was pretty mad when he tried to order me to pack my mixer, and told me I will just have to borrow one of the neighbor\'s when I want to bake! I told him to go take a hike! I wasn\'t going to take any orders from him! I told him that you know what your problem is? I served 5 yrs in the Marines and you don\'t see ME ordering you or anyone else around. You know why? Because I know the difference. I know you\'re not a Marine, you\'re my husband. You\'re problem is that you\'re a teacher and don\'t know how to separate your work from your social life or your marriage. So you come home and think you can treat me like one of your college students! You need to learn to understand the difference and leave work as work and married life as married life. Don\'t mix the two! Because I\'m not gonna take it!! .... He just sat there in silence. No response. It was later he told me he was backing off. Thank you, Lord, cause he was driving me up the feaking wall!
HAPPY TO SEE THA THAT YOU HAVE BEEN HEARD, NICE OF THIS LADY TO HELP YOU, YES THERE IS A LOT OF GOODY 2 SHOES IN CHURCHES, WELL TAKE CARE AND DON\'T LET ANYONE UPSET YOU, LOVE **
I grew up with very little. Because of that, I hang on to what I have. I save things so, if I need them, I have them. I am not a hoarder but, I place value on sentimental things and things that I feel I may need. Guess growing up poor has a lasting effect in some cases. I don\'t blame you for wanting to keep what is yours and those things that have sentimental value.