Slow and steady

I went out to see my horse yesterday. Everyone went with me - which was great. As we fired the farrier just before my radiation treatment, it means that I am walking my daughter through learning to do horse feet. We finished up her fillies front feet and did the major nipper work on the back feet yesterday. This is a rescue horse who has some trust issues so is not exactly the best behaved critter. Not the horse I would want to learn to do feet on that's for sure.
My general health, or lack there of was very apparent in that although I was holding the horse, I had to sit in a lawn chair while doing it. I did not even have the stregnth to stand to hold the horse while she got her feet trimmed. I love my horses - just the fact that she could be that nervous about having her back feet messed with, yet I was safe to be sitting while holding her shows a lot.
I had great plans to have my daughter saddle my horse so I could just walk about on him, but sitting in the lawn chair and brushing him was as much as I could do.  I just have no energy.
I had to buy a new pair of pants on Friday. The jeans I bought before my radiation therapy I don't have to undo to slide off. So far this summer I have gone down eight sizes in pants. It is a good thing I was not at a good weight to begin with!
This Wednesday I have my post RAI scan. Then in Oct I see the endocronoligist. I have noticed that food does taste different.
My voice is slowly coming back - there are whole days when I sound like a real person, but mostly it starts out normal in the morning and gets worse as the day progresses. I get a sore throat a couple times a day, but it always goes away if I suck on a lemon drop or two. I am just cold all the time. The air conditioners are running 24/7 in both the main room and our masterbath - and I just wear layers of shirts, usually two, plus a jacket.
I have had physical problems for years - the broken back and chronic pain that has brought comes to mind, but I have never felt this weak and helpless in my life. Even with the PTSD I left the Army with, I never felt weak. I don't think I have gone a full day in the last month that I have not cried.
Today is the 2nd of Sept - I have to be able to be up and moving for at least four hours at a time by the 24th - which is when I start back to college full time (my income is only from the money the VA gives me for going to school). I have three weeks to be able to sit through two four hour classes and one five hour class a week. I will have my Service Dog with me, so that will help, but it is not very far away.
It occured to me yesterday that this cancer stole my whole summer vacation. I ended the school year two weeks before my surgery. It is hard enough going back to school in my 40s, but having some time off to find the house and my sanity would have been nice. For the next two years I will have class long classes three nights a week and most Saturdays. Somewherer in there I still have to get my spinal reconstructive surgery...
I guess I am feeling a bit overwhelmed this morning.