Slow and Steady...

So I was hoping not to be back here anymore... but as odd as it sounds, it's almost as if typing or hearing myself explain any certain situation in this journal allows me to prioritize and reflect, (duh, right?)  So, I guess I shouldn't hope to not come back here, I should just hope that I keep returning with good news.  Well, semi-not-so-good news I guess.  So I started a search for porn today... I'm not proud of it, but I did it.  But then my... feelings?... got to me.  Not only did I feel my usually self-loathing, but I was also afraid this time.  I'm afraid that I might ruin a really good relationship with someone close to me.  Something I've done in the past and don't want to do again... so I'm here now, writing in my journal once more.  I mean, I guess it IS a good thing to do, write in this journal... I'm here typing this instead of looking at porn... so that's a plus... and after really thinking about it, I don't even want to look at it.  It has nothing to offer me, and those around me, except pain and sadness.  No Thank You!Alright journal, thanks for your amazing insight, (as always).  Until I see you again!