slipping...

I'm home on spring break, and things are not going well eating-wise. My support system is at school, so when I'm home where no one knows, I have no accountability and there is no one to talk to when I'm desperate. That makes it easy to slip right back into binging. I always feel hatred toward myself when I end up binging and it makes for a very unhappy day or night. I'm home; I'm supposed to be enjoying time with my family while I can, not using my time feeling sorry for myself and focusing only on myself. Having an ED can be a very lonely life.... I'm losing my motivation to get better, and that's definitely not good. I've looked into nutritional counseling and discovered it's too expensive for me right now. That was quite a discouragement and definitely is a hindrance to my desire to get better. If people really want to help people like me, why do they charge so much? Things like that can make the problem worse. Well, such is life, I guess.