Slipped

Monday morning.. I slipped up yesterday.. don't know how it happened.. yes I do. i CHOSE to didn't I? I went to church yesterday morning .. it was an awesome SPIRIT filled service. went to visit my neices and nephews, went to the grocery store.. all the while thinking about drinking when I get home.. finally get home. hubby is in the bed (2pm) because he had an upset stomach.. house needed cleaning (that is a trigger for me, drink a beer on breaks). I did try to fite it. I cleaned the bathroom, swept, started laundry, started dinner.. then when i went outside i opened a beer. I got online but i didn't have any messages from here. so i just shut my computer and had a beer. I only drank 4, but i took a tylenol pm and then i misplaced an illegal substance that I only had one of, but hopefully i threw it in the trash, but i just don't know. I really lost control. It is insane. I hate it but I like it. I was 2 weeks sober. Yes i had a couple of beers during that time, but I did not lose control. I totally useless last nite. Today is a new day. Today is a sober day. Today is a day the Lord has made. I could of done so many other things last nite.. coulda called somebody.. coulda done anything else, but the desire was so strong...