Slip up

Just when I feel like i have things 'under control' or have 'figured it out' i slipped up with another lie to my partner and this time I fear it has ruined the relationship for good.

I had been doing well since my last slip up in june, i was in a room with her and her parents i said i had spoken to my parents about a discussion which i had not. A few weeks later i confess after being pressed about it when I should just have said it in that moment there.

I am crushed and broken as I know she has done her best and i can't keep putting her through this so maybe it's best for her to be done however for myself i just want to stop this habit which i have built up and whenever I feel like oh i have it under control i do this.

I know it's a lifetime commitment, i just want to know if it ever gets better and if the people who you care for ever trust you again. What advice do you have i will greatly appreciate it, i am trying just depressing and annoyed at myself