Slightly better today

Feeling a bit better today; for one thing I finally slept through the whole night (w/Tylenol pm).  Woke up just before 6:00.  Happy to have slept and felt decent waking up.  
I ask to go on walk last night- she agreed.  Seemed ok last night, although she did make both kids snuggle her all night...  she was off to bed early again.  Anyway- she also knocked on door this morning- saying thanks for walk last night- it was better- made things better last night.  
i talked with her about not being "mortal enemies"- and trying to be accepting of me saying my feelings (as in Saturday's drive went bad... because I started by saying I was nervous and vulnerable...).  Anyway- although I am feeling ok this morning- I am worried I screwed up by making it "better" to just extend this "middle".  She did say- on the walk- "we aren't seeing or working towards the same thing"- kinda funny but she also said "it's not fair" on what I was asking for in our dog walk.  
Seriously...  I get in HUGE trouble for "fair" but she goes ahead and throws it out there...  

it's still the same as always- it's always fine for her- not for me- and it bottom line comes down to I am more kind and accountable- not being a victim- she is MUCH more comfortable being mean and awful!  She just doesn't care- if it gets tough- she runs- and always can... it's just who she is at a core, what she has always seen.  And the bottom line IS- I don't want to be that!  
I do worry it is just extended...  this is still VERY uncomfortable for me!  
if she wants to separate/divorce- she is the ONLY one...  it literally is like she has forgotten what we had- what I've done/sacrificed, etc...  

I just have to accept she will take 1/2 of everything I did- and she'll just go away...  it literally AWRFUL!  
what I want does not matter- and we are getting to that point of what arguments go to don't matter...  what she says or does is just that day- it doesn't actually matter what she says...  I am trying harder and harder to convince myself of that- what she says is reasons for divorce are NOT A. URATE (which I've been saying ALL ALONG)- but it doesn't matter- she will act on inaccuracies- she will- so what she says to her family or OUR friends- doesn't matter...  it's inaccurate- but even wrong- she will act on...  That's so hard for me- this doesn't need to happen!