Slience

Silence Help me!! I want, so badly, to get out of here!! I am slowly dying in here!! I am slipping away from everything that seems important in my life. Help me!! I don’t want to be separated from the world like this!! Don’t let this happen to me!! The silence is unbearable. The frustration of seeing and not hearing. The agony of knowing that I am not like other people now. Why me GOD?? What did I ever do to deserve this?? Why me?? My life was moving along smoothly, things were starting to work for me. I was doing well at school. I had my group of friends. Now none of that matters. It just isn’t there anymore. None of my friends have been to see me. Why haven’t they visited me?? I am a freak?? I am not like them anymore. Let’s face it – if I was in there position I would not come to see me either!! Why this, GOD?? What about my singing?? I loved that!! I admit that you gave it to me as a gift. Gifts are not supposed to be taken back!! I was using it for you. The times when I was singing were the times I felt closest to you. I felt best about myself and my life. Now, of all that which I have lost, that is the cruelest of all!! It kills me to see my parents – not knowing what has happened, not being able to communicate with them. Seeing the agony in their eyes. Don’t you think they are hurting for me, I know that it is hard for them as it is for me. They don’t understand anymore than I do. Do they lie awake at night, unable to sleep, confused and scared?? The nights are the worst. Laying there for hours, crying, trying to remember the sounds I love – even the simplest sounds. I don’t understand. I am so confused. Then I heard!! ‘Don’t be scared. Don’t be afraid. I will never leave you!!’ I heard it!! I know I heard You say it!! I have never heard it before… Your voice. Is this why?? Is this the reason?? So that I can hear You?? Couldn’t You have done something less drastic?? Why do I have to be cut off like this?? Couldn’t I still have my friends?? My hearing?? I can’t help but scream, ‘WHY ME??’ ‘Don’t be scared, Kirsten. Don’t be afraid. I will never leave you. I am always with you – right beside you!’ ‘But GOD, I can’t hear!! It hurts GOD!! To know that nothing will ever be the same again is frightening!!’ ‘It hurts me too.’ ‘You feel it too?? You’re hurting with me?? I had not thought of it that way. I didn’t realize that you were hurting too. You do care about me!! You do understand how confused and afraid I am!!’ ‘YES!’ ‘…you will always be with me??’ ‘YES!’ ‘…ALWAYS…’ ‘YES!’ ‘I …am…frightened!!’ ‘YES… I know.’ ‘I mean SCARED!! I have never been this scared!!’ YES… I know.’ ‘And…I am…angry. At you. Angry that you let this happen to me.’ YES… I know.’ ‘And you still love me??’ ‘YES!’ ‘But, I’m angry at you!!’ ‘I know.’ ‘And you still love me…you will still always be with me??’ ‘YES!’ ‘…THANK YOU GOD!!’ Bye Kirsten Kendall This is how I feel but I am not sick!! Please let me know what you think about this!!!