Sleepless night

I havent slept, and thats all well and good. I got into bed and my brain just keeps racing and racing  and racing, well you get the jist. I've been thinking about life alot. I've been thinking, what if I do all those things I want to do? What would happen to me? If I just screamed on the top of my lungs for all to hear, to break down every time I feel like it. I know all hell would break loose in work, but what if I just didn't care? If, even though I need the money, I put my mental health ahead of work?
 
Also, at times, life seems kind of magickal, like theres power in the air and it is accessible if I only knew how, like it's so close within my grasp I could reach and take it in, fill myself with this overwhelming magick. I should try that next time I feel it, I used to feel it alot before I got depressed and then eventually, stopped feeling anything. I want to feel it again, to hear the moon calling me again to dance beneath her, bask in her rays. What freedom would I feel if I gave in to that calling? Listened to her, let her fill me?
 
The earth, nature seems to be my calling. It's inviting me home. I know whenever I am in nature, truely pure nature away from solution, I feel whole. I've never talked about this before, people would laugh, but now I just don't care what they think. In candles, and crystals, caves, rocks, incense, trees, flowers, thats where the true me lies. Goddess I feel a great deal of freedom just writing this, getting it out.
 
But are these real feelings? Like normal human feelings? No one 'normal' feels magick in the air or want to dance under the moon and stars, do they?

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I for one understand how you feel....go with your walk dear.....and by the way....I do! I feel the same and living it....it sucks without the money...so maybe a balance, part time work? and decide with that? and simplify life? and then see from there....if its not enough....

For me, I cut completely off from the financial world....wish I would of not....completely and eased into the path I desired, that I\"m living in now....that you are craving....majick of living ones trueness not being inslaved by humans rules of surviving in this world under their hand.....

I loved reading this...it is a freedom one needs...in all to live out.....its the reason why so many are angry.....and don\'t know why.....its the keeping one in a world away from their true desires in life....but knowing and being forced to live a life of \'surviving\'. When Spirit gave it to every being to have....freely....

anyways, I hope this is your step to your dream and inner spirit pushing you out to be born again....to \'living\' life....not living for others....right?

Yeah, I understand....creeks, nature, flowers, meditating, getting within oneself....knowing what is really around us....

yeah, its the way, the life, the freedom....but the humans rules in life? might want to balance with it....I wish NOW, I would have....for myself....

anyways....just speaking from experience already done....for me....

Bows to you goddess.....

Spiritwalker
deleted_user
deleted_user

I can relate and also understand how you feel. And yes, I do think these are normal feelings, and very pure. And you are right, most people do not get to experience these types of feelings and connections... because most people are in to much of a rush. they have lost all natural connection to the earth. no one feeds their souls anymore, it\'s a sad sad world we live in. I think you are one of the intelligent, lucky few that get to experience this type of natural connection, cherish it and be proud of it. there is absolutely no reason for you to question yourself regarding anything you wrote here. Stay true to yourself, and it\'ll all work out in the end. I think. I hope for me too. hehe =)
peace n luv sista \\m/
deleted_user
deleted_user

No one \'normal\' feels magick in the air or want to dance under the moon and stars, do they?

Oh I think they do.....