Sleepless night

I havent slept, and thats all well and good. I got into bed and my brain just keeps racing and racing  and racing, well you get the jist. I've been thinking about life alot. I've been thinking, what if I do all those things I want to do? What would happen to me? If I just screamed on the top of my lungs for all to hear, to break down every time I feel like it. I know all hell would break loose in work, but what if I just didn't care? If, even though I need the money, I put my mental health ahead of work?
 
Also, at times, life seems kind of magickal, like theres power in the air and it is accessible if I only knew how, like it's so close within my grasp I could reach and take it in, fill myself with this overwhelming magick. I should try that next time I feel it, I used to feel it alot before I got depressed and then eventually, stopped feeling anything. I want to feel it again, to hear the moon calling me again to dance beneath her, bask in her rays. What freedom would I feel if I gave in to that calling? Listened to her, let her fill me?
 
The earth, nature seems to be my calling. It's inviting me home. I know whenever I am in nature, truely pure nature away from solution, I feel whole. I've never talked about this before, people would laugh, but now I just don't care what they think. In candles, and crystals, caves, rocks, incense, trees, flowers, thats where the true me lies. Goddess I feel a great deal of freedom just writing this, getting it out.
 
But are these real feelings? Like normal human feelings? No one 'normal' feels magick in the air or want to dance under the moon and stars, do they?