Sleep and Anxiety
I think I am plagued by anxiety. When I think it through logically, I remind myself that nothing has changed. I am still ME. However, I am not the me that can set aside time to walk or talk or even make dinner without feeling as though I may panic.
I don't want to talk to a doctor about this. More meds that do what to my brain?
I saw how much the copay is for a therapist and I just cannot afford it.
So I am going to keep praying and holding fast that It is Going to Be OKAY.
Sleep was difficult last night, but not as bad as the night before. I had some bad dreams again. One involved pills I did not want to take. A doctor was trying to make me take them. The same doctor, or someone else? was trying to get me involved in some pyramid scheme involving meds and I remember being given money. At another point in the same dream, at least I think it was that dream, I was at a big warehouse store, or perhaps a Walmart type store, and was trying to get out. Hubby wanted me to bring home some bottled water? I finally found a big bottle, like a 3 liter, and it was soft sided and heavy. I knew I really should get bottles packaged together but I just wanted to get out of there. I went to finally pay, and there were horrendous lines, but a gal pulled me aside to pay in a new cashier's stand. THen I go to open my wallet and my debit card isn't there. I say, Oh, it's probably in my car. I'll go out and check. I had no intention of returning. I just wanted out.
I did try to rest while I had my 2 hour alone time this morning and discovered that I was jolting myself awake over and over and over again. This was happening during the night as well. This extreme anxiety is terrible. I took my last Soma on Sunday night, but I don't think it helped me relax, anyway. There has to be a way to ease this burden that is eating at me, weighing me down. I don't think I have felt this bad -- stress/anxiety -- in a year or more. Sigh. I wish I was better at journaling.
dea
I don't want to talk to a doctor about this. More meds that do what to my brain?
I saw how much the copay is for a therapist and I just cannot afford it.
So I am going to keep praying and holding fast that It is Going to Be OKAY.
Sleep was difficult last night, but not as bad as the night before. I had some bad dreams again. One involved pills I did not want to take. A doctor was trying to make me take them. The same doctor, or someone else? was trying to get me involved in some pyramid scheme involving meds and I remember being given money. At another point in the same dream, at least I think it was that dream, I was at a big warehouse store, or perhaps a Walmart type store, and was trying to get out. Hubby wanted me to bring home some bottled water? I finally found a big bottle, like a 3 liter, and it was soft sided and heavy. I knew I really should get bottles packaged together but I just wanted to get out of there. I went to finally pay, and there were horrendous lines, but a gal pulled me aside to pay in a new cashier's stand. THen I go to open my wallet and my debit card isn't there. I say, Oh, it's probably in my car. I'll go out and check. I had no intention of returning. I just wanted out.
I did try to rest while I had my 2 hour alone time this morning and discovered that I was jolting myself awake over and over and over again. This was happening during the night as well. This extreme anxiety is terrible. I took my last Soma on Sunday night, but I don't think it helped me relax, anyway. There has to be a way to ease this burden that is eating at me, weighing me down. I don't think I have felt this bad -- stress/anxiety -- in a year or more. Sigh. I wish I was better at journaling.
dea
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