Skeletons at the Cookie Table
I just came upon this in my old journal from last Fall, my husband and I were attending a wedding reception, and all I could do was rant about two women across the room: "I had to stare at these two walking skeletons. No one addresses it. None of my business, right? WhatEVER. I tell my husband about it, but he says, Oh, they’re just thin… No, they are not thin, Mr. Oblivious. They are skeletons. Look! Their noses stick up sharply. Their eyes are rimmed in dark, cavernous circles, they look haunted. They both sit hunched over, caved in, clutching at boney arms, trying to keep warm, but with zero body fat that's kinda difficult. Why am I so tormented by them. I don’t know, I just wish someone would address it." What I was really wishing was that someone would address MY SITUATION. I'm bulimic, not anorexic. I'm a very "normal" weight. I'm not boney. I don't get that attention, that concern, I don't cause alarm. I'm invisible. And very sick and messed up at the same time. I was so offended by those two women. I think because their disease is visible. (even if people in this part of the country are too ignorant to see it. I see it. It takes one to know one, right?) I'm in recovery now, 7 weeks in, but I'm working through some anger issues. This disease has kept me down for so long. Why couldn't anyone see it?!!!How do I get through this anger and blame? I know it's wrong...*I'm sorry, also, I hope I don't offend anyone who is anorexic, with this post, and the "walking skeleton" reference. I started out at the age of 15 with anorexia, I was alarmingly thin at one point, and was bullied and tormented for it. I don't mean to offend anyone.