Sixteen days post-op.
I'm still tired but not as much as I was. It's not a huge, significant improvement but it's definitely noticeable. I got a pedicure a week ago and I could barely hold my legs up; they were shaking so much. I got another one today and I was fine! I returned to school yesterday and I felt like I was going to fall apart! My first class is at 8a and there's a LOT of uphill walking just to get there; upstairs to the train, up two hills and then once I get to the campus there are stairs at the entrance and then my first class is on the third floor of a tall building with no elevator so two big flights of stairs. I was ready to drop! There are more stairs throughout the day but in the morning it is an assault! Luckily I only have to do it three times a week!
Other than that, I'm doing well. My clothes are looser and looser and today I washed my hair and was looking in the mirror and my face is noticeably thinner. I mean, it was last week too but today I feel like I can really see it. I also put on an outfit that was tight a month ago and today the clothes almost hung on me. My bra is also starting to fit looser. I'm losing a lot of weight fast and I am GLAD. I've never ever been thin and I'm still a long way off but not as long as I was! It still feels so surreal; I can't believe I actually had gastric bypass surgery. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop or for something else to go wrong that would prevent it from happening but it happened and I am healing very fast. I'm not pushing myself or anything but I can feel it.
On another note...I miss my ex. He was very against the surgery and we were having other problems besides but things came to a head when he did not visit me in the hospital. He called me the day after I came home and I lost it. I have never ever screamed at him; he brings out the best in me even when we argue but this was different. I was pushed to the edge. When I questioned him about it all he could give me was excuses but it's always the same thing and I called him on each and every one of them. Then he did what he is best at doing, lumping me in with people from his past and how when he was in the hospital (this was before us) no one came and visited him. I went off and we hung up on each other. He called me back an hour later but I did not pick up. He didn't leave a message and we haven't spoken since.
I miss him. I miss him so much, like a drowning man misses the breath he knows isn't coming. The tears are there, I feel them but they aren't coming. I know it's over, it's been coming for a long time. The part that sucks is that it was avoidable and there are things that can be fixed and...well, he was the one I wanted to marry. The love of my life died seven years ago and I never thought I'd love like that again and although I don't love Javier the way I loved Michael, I know I could.
But that's life and regardless of what happens, I am going to live it.
Other than that, I'm doing well. My clothes are looser and looser and today I washed my hair and was looking in the mirror and my face is noticeably thinner. I mean, it was last week too but today I feel like I can really see it. I also put on an outfit that was tight a month ago and today the clothes almost hung on me. My bra is also starting to fit looser. I'm losing a lot of weight fast and I am GLAD. I've never ever been thin and I'm still a long way off but not as long as I was! It still feels so surreal; I can't believe I actually had gastric bypass surgery. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop or for something else to go wrong that would prevent it from happening but it happened and I am healing very fast. I'm not pushing myself or anything but I can feel it.
On another note...I miss my ex. He was very against the surgery and we were having other problems besides but things came to a head when he did not visit me in the hospital. He called me the day after I came home and I lost it. I have never ever screamed at him; he brings out the best in me even when we argue but this was different. I was pushed to the edge. When I questioned him about it all he could give me was excuses but it's always the same thing and I called him on each and every one of them. Then he did what he is best at doing, lumping me in with people from his past and how when he was in the hospital (this was before us) no one came and visited him. I went off and we hung up on each other. He called me back an hour later but I did not pick up. He didn't leave a message and we haven't spoken since.
I miss him. I miss him so much, like a drowning man misses the breath he knows isn't coming. The tears are there, I feel them but they aren't coming. I know it's over, it's been coming for a long time. The part that sucks is that it was avoidable and there are things that can be fixed and...well, he was the one I wanted to marry. The love of my life died seven years ago and I never thought I'd love like that again and although I don't love Javier the way I loved Michael, I know I could.
But that's life and regardless of what happens, I am going to live it.
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