sitting alone, awake in pain
sitting aloneawake in painslumber so far offsitting aloneliving alone, but with so many around my pain flaresshhhh... dont make a sound"He is only faking" "He is in no pain"thats what 'they' say'they' dont know the agony they dont know pain, the self loathing is it my fault??when 'they' DRILL and DRILL it into my head"its in you thoughts" "you feel nothing""you are weak" no back up no protectioncant even look at my own reflectionwhat i see, i hatewhat they see-- isnt the real me. "weak.. weak.. weak.."i know alone i may be weaki know alone i may be against myselfi have so many that try to make me strong and i say i am. when they are around. i need to believe in them and stop lying to myself.ill live ill get strongerim hoping next time 'he' will stay around longer 'he' said i was beautifulI believed him!'he' said i was a princeI believed him! well 'he" is gone and moved on so for now i will remain,sitting alone awake in pain
Replies
oh my gosh Masn this is Amazing!!
i know exactly how u feel... this describes me as well in so many ways!
ya thats why i wanted you to read it because Meghan we are soo alike in soooo Many ways!
I go through this and don\'t know why?
It really sucks when the people who supposedly love you, don\'t believe and support you. I\'ve learned to find new people. I hope you can see that what you are going through is nobody\'s fault.
Aloha
Forgiveness is the key to happiness, forgive yourself and everyone else, respect self and others, be responsible for all of your actions, eat right, exercise, stop smoking, booze, heavy drugs, think right, and ones life will improve 10 folds also self healing has a better chance, now is the only time there is
Thank you all for your comments. I just joined this site and it\'s really nice to see that ppl care:) I\'m not saying that this is the only place that I have ppl that care but this is the only place that I\'m absolutley honest about everything in my life and thank you so much fir your advice! I shall accept it and try to live by it:) thank you all soooooo much:)
OMG! That is the most touching thing I have read in a while. Its seemed from the heart.
Why? Why are you in pain? Is your chronic pain physical? Can I help?
Well thank you! Nah I just need to see a doctor...but thank you though it is very nice of you! :):):)
Beautifully written, sadly familiar.
Ali
Mason - people have good intentions and many times geniuely mean what they say and feel. However, over time life changes, feelings change. It\'s normal. There is nothing wrong with you or your significant other. People grow apart (and together) for a myriad of reasons. Before you can accept the love of others, you must learn to love and appreciate yourself. For how can we give what we don\'t have for ourselves. You may wish to seek the assistance of a counselor/therapist if affordable. You may wisht o atttend group meetins or work a 12 Step program to get to the bottom of your lack of self love, self-esteem, and self-appreciation. God created you and therefor you are beautiful, you just having gotten your sight focused correctly yet. It will come, it takes time and work but you can and will succeed. It\'s up to you! Best wishes and God Bless. Take care of yourself.