Sitting alone
To all my friends, I need your help trying get over this feeling of hopelessness. I knew this day would come and I didn't really excpect it to effect me the way it did. This weekend was a big weekend in our home town where I live. It was the annual Strawberry Festival. in my home town. Last year I had copd and tried to walk around with my family, and it was so hard and exhausting on me. So this year my sister got a rented wheel chair for me to ride around in. Which of course made it so much more easier on lungs and legs, but not my pride. I felt so different than everyone else. I felt like everyone was looking at me. Everytime my family ran into someone they would have to push my whell chair up to where they were standing, and I felt like I was in the way. Like I stood out from everyone else, which of course I did. Now don't get me wrong. I know I should just be thankful for just being able to be there with everyone, but I felt like a handicap, and I don't want to! I wish so much that I could just go back in time and be the way I used to to be. And I know I can't. I am so depressed over this. I know I'm just wallowing in self pity. I can't help it. I just wante to go home if this was the way I was going to feel. I ride thru Wal Mart in one of those motorized cars. I don't know why this effected me the way it did, but I just cant shake the feeling. What is my vacation this summer going to be like? The same thing, pushing around the handicap. OMG please someone help me.
Replies
Dearheart you are no different than anyone else, and you are never in the way. You must not let that self doubt and low esteem creep in. Just because you had to be in a wheel chair does not make you less of a woman, you are the same woman you were before this debilitating disease got to you, only now you have to adapt your life a little bit. God loves you the same as He did yesterday. I know for sure their are days that you feel differently, but it really isn\'t, your physical may be a bit different but the that beautiful person remains the same! Please don\'t let the outward look of something affect you beautiful inner self. God bless you!! and remember Keep Looking Up!! You are one of His creations and He makes NO mistakes.
Want2bwell: First of all we need to turn that big old frown upside down, yep that\'s better now. Ok, you had a bad day, but you got thru it, yes a little frustrated and a little sad, but you are the same person in your heart as you were before the festival and you are the same person now after with the exception of now!!!_____ You are a stronger person. You delt with the day and today is a new day. Never feel that U are in the way, the way sometimes gets in our way but just try to go right over the top.
We all have felt that way and believe me the days when I can only walk from the bed to the kitchen for a drink of water before running SOB and have to huff and puff and then puff on the inhaler, I wonder if it is all worth it. The answer to my own question is simple: God will never put more on a person than that person can handle, and yes it is worth it.Your vacation will be just fine, it will be at a much slower pace , but you will enjoy it and remember it always. You are not a handicap, you have a problem called COPD and that is the handicap. The person that you are inside is the real want2bwell, and you are a great person. Hope this helps your day and remember that God will help us all get thru this minor set back.
Sassyme said it all in a nutshell\" God makes NO mistakes\"
Take care my friend and God Bless U !! Keep Smiling!!!!!, it makes people wonder what you have been up too.
Wolfman
Thank you so much my wonderful friends. You made my day just for the nice words you said to me. It is so hard to look at the possitive but I will try. Thank you again for lifting my spirits. God Bless you all, Kris
It is hard sometimes, but just remember always, God DID NOT make any MISTAKES. God bless
hi, i wanted to put my 2cents in.lol.don\'t be sad!!The Lord willwork out whatever problems you have just trust Him.hugs and prayers.i read that you live in wv. i use to.
I have been on a cane and then a walker I am only 43 years old. I know how you feel. I hate going out because it feels like everyone is looking at you . But I have finally come to realize that it is there problem and if they wants to stare let them. One day they maybe the way I am now and go wow and to think I was like eveeyone else and now they are staring at me. Honestly sometimes it get annoying and i usually tell them to take a picture it last longer. You should see there faces it is funny. I have alot of bad days with my depression and wish I could go back 4 years when all my medical problems started. I have gained 135 lbs. and I look in the mirror and do not see who I use to be. I have the person in the mirror. So I cover the mirror with a sheet. There are days when I dont care but most of the time I do. I love my family and sometimes I think that mayne they woild be better off without me and then I think no that is taking the easy way out and in the end it will only hurt the kids more. Just remember that your family loves you and is helping you as best they can and be greatful that you have a loving family to help out some people dont have a famiy to take care of them.