Sitting alone

  To all my friends, I need your help trying get over this feeling of hopelessness. I knew this day would come and I didn't really excpect it to effect me the way it did. This weekend was a big weekend in our home town where I live. It was the annual Strawberry Festival. in my home town. Last year I had copd and tried to walk around with my family, and it was so hard and exhausting on me. So this year my sister got a rented wheel chair for me to ride around in. Which of course made it so much more easier on lungs and legs, but not my pride. I felt so different than everyone else. I felt like everyone was looking at me. Everytime my family ran into someone they would have to push my whell chair up to where they were standing, and I felt like I was in the way. Like I stood out from everyone else, which of course I did. Now don't get me wrong. I know I should just be thankful for just being able to be there with everyone, but I felt like a handicap, and I don't want to! I wish so much that I could just go back in time and be the way I used to to be. And I know I can't. I am so depressed over this. I know I'm just wallowing in self pity. I can't help it. I just wante to go home if this was the way I was going to feel. I ride thru Wal Mart in one of those motorized cars. I don't know why this effected me the way it did, but I just cant shake the feeling. What is my vacation this summer going to be like? The same thing, pushing around the handicap. OMG please someone help me.