Single life

It's been awhile since I've journaled. I'm just living life but lately I've been a bit lonely. My 21 year old daughter lives with me and has friends over quite a bit. So I guess there's people here but they're all young people I think I'm just longing for company my age. I have little to no friends my age to hang out with and that kind of sucks. I spent this whole weekend alone so I guess I'm having a little bit of a pity party. Friday night I threw a party for an old friend a mutual friend of my ex-husband's. There were a lot of people there and well people did say hi very few people talk to me it's like once you're at The X your taboo. My ex was there too he sat at the opposite end of the table. He's been trying to develop some sort of connection with me after almost 2 years apart. I don't know how I feel about that and have been a bit anxious lately because of it. He's an alcoholic he's trying to complete step 9 by making amends to those he hurt. He asked me over the phone and roundabout if I would forgive him. I have and I did that for me. But does that mean I want his company? He's been very nice but how long will that last? He's trying to develop an appropriate relationship with our daughter and that's good and I will support it. I will be nice I will be cordial. He's drinking again and has found himself very alone as well. This oughta be interesting and I will keep my boundaries firm. I can't deal with his toxicity and negativity and I don't have to anymore. Amen