Silence
It's the silence that is tearing me apart. This house feels like a shell now without my precious peanut. I got her for Christmas in 2007. I fell head over heels in love with her when I saw her at petco. First moment I held her I wanted her. She was pricy so I didn't think I would get it. It was my Christmas gift from my now husband. The first night home she hid in my hair and it was love at first squawk. We spoiled her a lot. Everything I did was based around her. I wouldn't stay out late when it got dark early. I wouldn't take over night trips. I always picked up little gifts for her. I got lunches I knew she liked. We got her Christmas gifts wrapped them and she tore into them but much preferred paper towel rolls or toilet paper rolls and t shirts to any expensive toy. I miss her squawking when I come home from work or being out. Waddling down the hall after her daddy. I would give anything just for a few mins each day to just give her scratches or preen her. I never knew the impact she fully has on me until I lost her. I knew I loved her I just didn't realize the extent of this massive love. All I can see when I try to imagine the good times is her lifeless body as I kissed her sweet head goodbye and tears fell onto her forever shut eyes. She was intertwined in everything I do. I love you sweet peanut girl my boo boo.
Replies
It\'s nice to be able to look back and know that you took such great care of Peanut, was always there for her, spoiled her, loved her. The emptiness is the hardest part for me. Lady was a quiet little girl, she\'d give one bark to tell me it was time for bed or if she wanted to be picked up and put on the couch.
Hopefully, with time the pain will ease. I know for me it felt like I was drowning, like I had vertigo for the first few days and then after some time it became less and less. I still feel incredible sadness at her loss, but the deep drowning pain has eased.
Please take care of yourself and try to get some rest. Like I\'d tell my kids (when they were little), you don\'t have to take a nap, just lay down and rest your body !
Hugs xoxo
I try to hold onto the fact that we really did treat her as a family member. She went to other peoples houses, she took part in our bbq\'s, she went to her \"nana\'s \" house to visit, she really was hardly ever in a cage. It is the emptiness and quiet that is difficult. The squawk when we come home or get up in the morning. The kisses when i came into her room and she heard me. These plus so many other things that was just her that saddens me. Its only been a week and a day but it feels like its been an eternity without her. She is SO VERY MISSED :(