Signs of love
Yesterday I awoke to be sure my daughter was dressed warmly enough for the sub degree weather on her way to school. She was not, so I made her come in for gloves coat and a hat. She through several expletives at me, f related ones, so I turned her toward the door and said get out and go. She does not like to be touched when mad and punched me in the face. Not an unusual morning which is why I was still in my room. When she and my son left for the bus I fell apart, begging God for a reprieve of sorts. Why do we have to wait until July for her to go to the school. Oh yes because we need to find financing and they need more staffing. Blah blah selfish can't he see how she treats me, blah whine and then a thunderstorm of rage and tears.
The last conversation with my son Patrick was an argument over my daughters behaviors. I just started telling him that I love him still even if he is no longer here, and how sorry I was that he was angry at me when he died. And then I looked outside and thought how it would be nice if I saw signs like others got from their loved ones. I just wanted to hear him to yell Ma in his nasally mocking way that always made me laugh.
Fast forward to early afternoon, I got a phone call from my estranged brother asking if I can get texts on my home phone. Well I gave him my tracfone number. Well he started to cry and said that for some reason, he had decided to go through some old pictures and papers today and he found something that I will really need to see. He texted it to me, but I don't have a smart phone so I texted it to my friend Judy and she posted it to Facebook so I could see it. It was a lovely homemade card that Patrick had made for me when he was young. Across the top was The word Ma with lots of exclamation marks after My name. It was followed by a line of heart flowers and signed Love Patrick M. Kids are awesome, as if I wouldn't know which Patrick sent it. What a sign! God plans everything so well. He knew long ago how I would fell on this day, and how my brother needed to do something to connect.i am so grateful and I can't wait to see what is written inside the card when it arrives tomorrow.
The last conversation with my son Patrick was an argument over my daughters behaviors. I just started telling him that I love him still even if he is no longer here, and how sorry I was that he was angry at me when he died. And then I looked outside and thought how it would be nice if I saw signs like others got from their loved ones. I just wanted to hear him to yell Ma in his nasally mocking way that always made me laugh.
Fast forward to early afternoon, I got a phone call from my estranged brother asking if I can get texts on my home phone. Well I gave him my tracfone number. Well he started to cry and said that for some reason, he had decided to go through some old pictures and papers today and he found something that I will really need to see. He texted it to me, but I don't have a smart phone so I texted it to my friend Judy and she posted it to Facebook so I could see it. It was a lovely homemade card that Patrick had made for me when he was young. Across the top was The word Ma with lots of exclamation marks after My name. It was followed by a line of heart flowers and signed Love Patrick M. Kids are awesome, as if I wouldn't know which Patrick sent it. What a sign! God plans everything so well. He knew long ago how I would fell on this day, and how my brother needed to do something to connect.i am so grateful and I can't wait to see what is written inside the card when it arrives tomorrow.
Replies
I am so sorry. I can only imagine the feelings and turmoil. i wish your daughter could get in to the school. She sounds like a very troubled young lady - and the loss of her brother only accentuates the behaviors. It is worrisome and I think you and your family may be at risk.
I am sooooo glad that Patrick reminded you that he is still Patrick. That is soo cool. He gave your brother a nudge. I hope that your brother and you are able to repair your relationship. It sounds like you could be a support to one another.
Take care,
Love and hugs,
Marlene
if you can,, please share the card with us... I would love to see it... love ya!
I posted it on my photos. I should get the actual card in the mail tomorrow.
I enjoyed very much reading about your signs of love. Hugs coming to hold you tight as you wait for the much needed help with your daughter. It\'s heartwarming to hear how your difficult morning took a turn for the better. You & your brother were brought together again because of your Patrick. I hope you have many more good things come your way. Hugs.....Vicki
A sign that came when you so sorely needed it and what a gift that IS and also a connection to your brother. Patrick is working on the healing and mending of your relationship I have no doubt as I just imagine this is how it is for our children. They can see the bigger picture that we cannot yet with our earthly eyes. Patrick has your back! :)
Hopeful that you find the school that is needed for your daughter and lots of loving care your way and what a happening to be receiving this card. Just the BEST!
XO Joanie
Perfect timing! That is an awesome sign and so happy for you.
My heart aches for you while you wait to get your daughter into school...love and hugs...Karen
I remember wanting a sign from my son so badly for a long time...my first sign was at the second Christmas without him. I had pulled out the Christmas wrapping box and was looking for a gently used gift bag. I grabbed the first on that I saw that was the right size for the small gift...it had a tag on it from Daren to me that just said \"I love YOU always\" in his handwriting...I remember how my heart skipped a few beats...I remember muttering OK...I get it...and It is one of my most treasured possessions.
There have been more after that...now that I look and feel with different eyes an an open heart.
I am so happy that your brother found this and thought to snd it to you. I hope that this opens a door to healing with this relationship, too...It appears to send a message of that nature.
Can\'t wait to hear the message that is inside...however simple it may be, it will be a piece of your son...I understand how that feels!
Gentle care,
AnnM
Ann, I have found a a few other things that Patrick had made for me since then. Funny how they are all things he made and not from my other boys. They all have the same messages of love and adoration.
When he passed he was so broken and I got the brunt of it, so I was sad to think that he didn\'t love me when he died. I was also told that it wasn\'t just PTSD, but from his childhood, and I started to believe it a little. But, Patrick stepped in to remind me of how it was before he broke in the navy. He was adored and loved and he needs me to know that it was and is mutual. I am so grateful. Lauri